


Half way between you and home

by Liberteaaxx



Category: One Direction
Genre: Actor Harry, Alcohol, Drunk Niall, Fluff, Freddie Tomlinson - Freeform, Happy Ending, Happy Harry, LA, London, Love, M/M, No Smut, Runaway Bride reference, Runaway Harry, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Solo Liam, Solo Louis, Solo Niall - Freeform, Wedding, doncaster, holmes chapel, lost Louis, reunited, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:04:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13058358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liberteaaxx/pseuds/Liberteaaxx
Summary: The one where Louis and Harry broke up fifteen years ago but one day they’re booked to appear on the same chat show and well, much like before, they’re inseparable.****After a moment, he spoke “Do you miss him?” his voice scarcely a whisper.With three words, he broke his heart “all the time”.





	Half way between you and home

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best but it’s something before I post my work that’s taking me ages to write. 
> 
> No smut whatsoever, sorry! Just a loaf fluff and whatever else comes with it.

 

 

Harry sat in the swing chair in his garden, his cup of tea in one hand and his eyes wandering around. He watched, the way the wind forced the strong branches of the trees to sway unnaturally in the breeze, the small robin’s returning to their nest in the tallest tree in the garden and the only noise to hear was the British countryside.

Harry moved back to England five years ago, he lived in LA for ten years forcing himself to believe that he needed to be there. But years of battling his own demons, he soon realised he couldn’t make a home there, Holmes chapel would always be home to him.

After living in La La land for so long, he was lucky to have not lost himself completely to the madness that came with the fame. Somehow he had stayed grounded, something he prides himself on. And now, living in the most beautiful country home, he couldn’t help but feel lucky.

“Harry, babe, you out there?”

Harry smiled, turning to look behind him. He watched as his boyfriend walked out into the garden, dressed in cotton pyjamas and looking like butter wouldn’t melt. And boy, did he feel lucky.

“Morning” Harry grinned, leaning up to place a chaste kiss against his lips as he reached him. “How did you sleep?”

“Amazing. That new bed was such a great idea, I’m as refreshed as I possibly can be” Jack sat beside Harry, throwing his arm around his shoulders and sipping his own coffee from his free hand. “It really is beautiful out here”

“Isn’t it?”

Harry met Jack eight years ago at a function in LA, funny really, if Nick hadn’t have forced him to leave his house and actually be sociable that evening, he wouldn’t have met him at all. It was Jack’s last night in LA, he and Harry hit it off straight away, Jack was a fan of Harry’s and quite frankly, Harry had been a fan of his artsy model pictures on Instagram.

He was Australian, which was even better in Harry’s book. Tall, dark hair, handsome, a surfer look - a fit one. He definitely thought he was lucky. After one night together, they exchanged numbers and spent months speaking only by calls and short FaceTime calls in between their busy schedules and soon enough, they had enough of the long distance and without another thought, Jack was on his way to LA to be with him.

It was something out of a movie, Harry couldn’t believe he had found something so perfect.

He was never a strong believer in soul mates, not after everything all those years ago but he thought that maybe this time he had found it. Which sort of explained why he somehow managed to accept Jack’s proposal two months ago.

“What times your appearance?”

Harry glanced at his watch “I’ve got to leave at twelve to get there for two and then rehearsals at six and the shows at half eight”

“You’re like a walking talking schedule” Jack laughed, grinning as he left a sloppy kiss on his cheek “But okay babe, I’m going to meet my brother. He landed this morning so I’m going to spend the day with him and then maybe he can come round here tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure” He shrugged.

“Perfect. I love you”

“Ditto” Harry smiled.

—-

Harry was half asleep by the time he and his manager arrived at ITV Studio’s. He smiled and waved half-heartedly as he walked through the corridor and was lead to his dressing room.

“Have I got time to nap?” Harry asked through a yawn.

“Not today, pal. Traffic was a nightmare, you’ve got an hour and a half until rehearsals”

“What exactly am I rehearsing?” Harry asked, barging through his dressing room door and caught his eyes straight onto the sofa in the corner.

“You and the other guests will just go through what’s going to happen during the show, what sort of questions will be asked and all that. Just so you’re prepared”

“Right” He nodded, collapsing onto the sofa with a satisfied sigh. “So, what’s my job tonight?”

“You’re just promoting the movie, H. All you’ve got to do is praise the plot, praise the cast and director and just sell it” Chris said, setting up in his laptop by the desk near the mirror “just be you, Styles”

“You got it. So, can I really not have just a twenty minute nap?”

“Fifteen”

Harry woke from his nap an hour later after ignoring Chris’ attempts to wake him repeatedly. He was slow as he was forced to make his way onto the studio, he had been doing interviews for three weeks straight and he was quite simply tired of it.

“Harry Styles!”

“Graham Norton!” Harry laughed, matching the hosts greeting.

He walked towards him, embracing him in a short hug. Smiling as pulled away “Long time no see, you don’t look a day over twenty five. How do you do it?”

“Oh shut up, you. I’m a golden oldie and if I’m not wrong I see a few grey hairs peaking through those curls of yours” Graham teased.

“Well, I’m thirty eight now. It’s about time I started getting some grey hairs, don’t you think? Just hope I look as good as you at your age”

“Always the charmer. Great to see you, I’ll meet you on stage in about twenty minutes, alright? Help your self to all the snacks and drinks and everything backstage!”

“Thanks” Harry nodded, patting him on the back as he walked past him and ran to catch up with Craig. “So, what beautiful kind of human beings am I being graced with this evening?”

“A few different faces”

“Vague. I’m talking names, Craig!”

“Yeah... I, Well, it’s not confirmed. You’ll have to find out for yourself” Craig brushed it off, gesturing for him to head for the stage whilst he walked off towards the other tour managers.

“You’re great help, Craig. Can see why I hired you now” Harry shouted after him, shaking his head as head towards the table with the food.

He whistled as he walked, stalling as he found the donuts. That’s what he was looking for, it was a guilty pleasure that got him in trouble with his personal trainer every morning.

Third donut down and he looked up at the clock, he only had a few minutes left so he snuck a forth in his hand and head towards the stage. He saw only a few members of the audience already sitting down.

“Hiya” He shouted, waving and attempting a smile with a mouth full of donut. “Thank you all for coming”

He was the first, he just walked over to the famous sofa and made himself at home right in the middle, his legs stretched and his arms hung over the back of the sofa.

He remembered all the other times he has sat on this sofa, he’d done it a few times solo but he thought back to the times he was with a few other lads. It really did make things easier when he had someone to back him up, he struggled with his words, something people enjoyed to criticise him for.

Still, at this age, he kind of wished he had someone to help him out with his answers.

“Harry!”

Harry’s head snapped as he heard the voice, his mouth falling open as he did. He was certain his eyes were deceiving him, he looked twice, even thrice to make sure before jumping to his feet.

“Liam! Holy shit. No one told me you were gonna be on the show”

“Long time no see, brother!” He smiled brightly, pulling Harry into a hug “can’t believe you didn’t know”

“Well, my manager didn’t want to tell me for some reason” He laughed, patting Liam on the back a few times before pulling away. He looked at him again, his eyes looking him up and down “mate, you’re looking old”

“You can talk, you twat!” Liam flipped him off, falling onto the end of the sofa.

He still dressed the same, massive jumper, a ridiculous gold chain and same haircut. He looked like him but with a few grey hairs and a couple wrinkles to show his age.

“How have you been?” Harry asked, falling beside him “I can’t remember the last time I saw you!”

“Easily about five years ago, you were just getting ready to leave LA. But no, yeah, I’m great mate. Cheryl and I have welcomed another little boy to the family, February 2nd. A day after your birthday”

“Wow! And you didn’t think to call me and let me know?” Harry fake gasped, smiling as he spoke. “What’s this one called? Squirrel Payne? Squirrel and Bear, amazing”

“You’re still annoying. His names Theo, actually”

“Lovely name!” Harry said, his hand covered his heart as he spoke. “I’m happy for you mate, proper chuffed”

“And you? How’s... Shit, I’ve forgot his name”

Harry rolled his eyes “Jack? Yes, he’s absolutely fine thanks. We’re engaged now, as you know because I actually still text you with big updates on my life”

“Sorry mate, life just gets crazy. You know what it’s like. But, we could always go for drinks after the show? I’m in London for the week”

Harry smiled and nodded “Yeah, I’d love to” he said, crossing his legs. “So, do you know who’s joining us on this lovely couch this evening? Craig said he wasn’t sure”

“You really don’t know?” Liam’s brows furrowed and Harry shook his head “Jeez. You’re in for a shock Harry, there’s a reason Craig didn’t tell you, I think”

“Oh no, who is it? Have I argued with them? Or have I embarrassed myself in front of them?” Harry panicked, sitting up straight.

Liam’s face screwed up, his mouth opening and closing a few times and just as he was about to say it, the devil himself entered the room.

“MC Payno 2 chains!”

“No” Harry said, his eyes gazing at Liam as his body stilled.

“I’m sorry mate, I thought you knew” Liam apologised, rubbing his neck with his hand.

Harry felt in that instant that he was drowning, like he was being rushed through an ocean, the waves crash into him stopping him from saving himself. That or he was being dramatic. - He hadn’t seen Louis in years, since he was twenty two.

He’d gone from being attached at the hip with him trying to forget what he looked like. Hard really, just from his voice he could see his blue eyes, the ones Harry found himself lost in on more than one occasion. He could see the way Louis would use his finger tips to move his fringe from his forehead, the way the lines beneath his eyes would crinkle up when he laughed.

The fact of the matter was, Louis was Harry’s first love. First real love anyway, he spent seven years with him. But it was never easy, it was then he remembered how difficult it was. He spent nights crying, days hiding away in his house to avoid the public, steering away from reading anything with their names in.

He remembered the arguments, both between themselves and with everyone else around them. The lies, they were the worst. Being in the biggest boyband in the world for seven years had its perks of course, but it also turned to into the biggest lie he’d ever have to be involved in. Lie after lie, pretending that they weren’t in love, pretending that they barely knew each other existed.

He also remembered when it came to an end, when he found that Louis had been lying to not only the world but him as well. He packed his bags one night when Louis was away doing whatever it was he did, left a note and never came back.

“Tommo, what’s happening?” Liam greeted, walking past Harry and embracing Louis in a hug.

“Still wearing that fuckin’ chain” Louis teased, lifting it from his chest “always a loser, even with old age”

“You’re one to talk pal, you’re past forty. Might as well start digging your grave now”

Louis tilted his head, a smile still on his face “Funny. Real funny”

They stopped talking, Harry was still frozen. He didn’t know what to do, instead, he sat awkwardly, his eyes focused on his shoes. He knew that one day they would end up in the same room again but definitely could have done with some warning.

“Harry?”

Shit, Harry thought about all the possible ways to run. He thought about jumping off the stage and running through the isles of the audience. Probably not the best idea.

“Earth to H, you alright bud?” Liam laughed, his hand on his shoulder.

Harry closed his eyes, exhaling as he turned round to face them. His breath hitched as he caught sight of Lou, he looked... the same. Even into his forties he looked the same young hearted boy he knew when he was only sixteen, older in the eyes, like he had been through a lot over the years. Harry could see the hint of sadness he hid between the pools of blue.

“Hey” Harry breathed out, slowly standing up. “Sorry, was... Yeah, a bit spaced out then”

“Hi” Louis beamed, a smile appearing over his face as he took the sight of Harry in.

They stood awkwardly, just watching one another until Louis held his arms out. Harry didn’t know whether to collapse into them or leg it, the option to run was still there.

But instead, he shrugged, stepping only one foot forward as he wrapped his arms around the older mans small frame.

“It’s great to see you, H” Louis mumbled into his shoulder, patting his back a few times.

“Yeah, same” Harry nodded, pulling away from him to refrain from holding on for just a little longer than necessary.

“Who’d have thought they’d have the three of us here at the same time, hey? Crazy” Liam said, Louis and Harry finally broke their eye contact to look at him.

“Yeah, crazy” Harry mumbled, taking a step back and sitting back in his seat.

“What are you here for, H?” He asked, sitting beside him “Are you releasing another cheesy Christmas album?”

Harry scoffed “cheesy? My album went straight to number one I’ll have you know. But no, I’ve got another movie coming out”

“Another Rom Com?” Liam teased.

“Yes, actually. They’re my favourite ones to do” Harry shrugged “this time I’m a single dad who’s life is a mess, I have a mid-life crisis and start acting like I’m 18 and fall in love with my best friend”

“A girl or a lad?”

“Girl” Harry said through a sigh “still waiting for the day they’ll let me get it on with some bloke for a movie”

“If that’s what you want mate, maybe you should look into porn”

Harry hit him over the back of his head “shut up” he laughed, only for a second forgetting that Louis was even there. He glanced up at him, he was standing there with his arms crossed just watching his and Liam’s conversation. “What are you here for Louis?”

“Oh” Louis shook his head, coming back to life after spacing out for so long “Album, charity work, that sort of thing”

“Album? Same here mate, looks like we’re head to head for number one this Christmas” Liam winked.

“No competition if you ask me, MC Mayo”

They spoke for some time, Harry only speaking in short snappy sentences when it came to Louis. It’s like he forgot how to act around him, was he allowed to joke and banter with him like he did Liam? But yet, even though he didn’t join in much with Louis and Liam’s chatter, he watched, he found himself burning wholes into Louis. He was watching the way he spoke, the way he laughed, throwing his head back and his eyes crinkling to match his smile. He was as ever, focused on him, just like he always used to.

After rehearsals which was mainly a bit of conversation around what was going to happen, Harry was free to go and get ready for the show. But just as he was leaving he saw Louis setting up on stage and he found himself standing at the side of the stage.

He watched Louis’ do his old rituals, testing the mic, closing his eyes as concentrated on his breath, something he would always do before performing - a nerves thing.

  
And then, the music began playing in the background and Harry hadn’t heard this one (he wouldn’t admit that he had bought all of his recent singles, much like he always had). He watched Louis’ approach the mic, his eyes closed as he began to sing.

“ _Is it my imagination_?” He began, his eyes still closed as he sang, like he was nervous “ _Is it something that I’m taking? All the smiles that I’m faking, everything is great every thing is fucking great, Going out every weekend Staring at the stars on the ceiling Hollywood friends, gotta see them such a good time I believe it this time_ ”

Harry’s breath hitches listening to Louis sing, live and in person, he hung on every word that left his lips. Harry’s heart almost broke, listening to the broken words that left him. It was a song to be sang when with friends, drunk and living for the moment and if Harry didn’t know (knew) Louis he would be doing the same, changing a long, a bottle in his hand but he did know (knew) Louis and there was more to this.

He listened to every word, hanging onto each one, watching the way Louis’ body wouldn’t move, he simply stood, singing his heart out.

“ _Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong and it hits me when the lights go on. Shit, maybe I’ll miss you_ ” and as Louis’ eyes opened, peering at Harry, he left. Turning his back and walking away from this, all of this. Like he did all those years ago.

The show went smooth, they kept to the questions, joked about a reunion and after it all. Harry left, not bothering to say goodbye to neither Louis or Liam as he trailed off to his dressing room, he walked through the corridor, pulling his suit jacket off as he did.

He reached the door and stopped as he heard the rushed footsteps approaching behind him and then the shoot “Harry!” He closed his eyes, no escaping this yet.

“Harry, god, you ran didn’t you?”

Harry turned with a small smile, looking at Louis as he stood behind him slightly out of breath “been a long day, ain’t it? Ready for my bed”

“Oh, are you back home then? Do you live here?”

Harry nodded “Yeah, been here about five years now. Missed it”

Louis’ eyes softened “Can’t blame you. I could never leave, y’know me though, no where compares to Donny. I didn’t even know you were back home. Where are you living?”

“Holmes Chapel” Harry mumbled.

“Shit” Louis let out a breathless laugh “You’re closer than I thought”

“Yeah” Harry shrugged.

“Look, I thought I’d come and speak to you before you ran off and I wouldn’t see you for another fifteen years” Louis began, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s been so long, H. Just seeing you, its, well... It’s good, I’ve missed you”

“It’s definitely been a while” was all Harry could say, unsure how to comprehend a sentence. He never expected to have Louis Tomlinson stood in front of him when he left this morning.

“I know that things were... I, shit, what I’m trying to say is I know it all ended so badly and we weren’t great but before all of that we were best friends. And let’s face it, we’re not getting any younger mate” Louis sighed, his eyes sad. “What I’m trying to get across is that, now you’re here, back home... Maybe we can start again? As friends I mean, I miss you and the lads. We’ve not all been in the same room for so long and we used to be inseparable”

Harry nodded, not sure exactly why. “We were all attached at the hip” he laughed, a sad laugh, remembering everything “I don’t know Louis, I’m not sure what sort of friendship we’re supposed to get from this. We weren’t even friends for the last couple years of our relationship”

Harry lifted his hand, pushing his hair back from his eyes. “I haven’t seen you in years, we’re all older now. We might all be different to what we were all that time ago, you never know, you might hate me?”

“Never. That’s impossible” Louis stated, his voice stern. “Look, I’m not asking you to move in and we start a bromance like all those years ago. I’m just asking that we give it ago, the friends thing, all of us. We all need a reunion. But it would be nice if we could be in the same room together without you or I feeling awkward, don’t you think?”

“I guess” Harry shrugged and in his head he was shouting What are you fucking doing? “I mean, Liam’s in London all this week. The three of us could meet up and have a drink or something?”

“That sounds great” And Louis really smiled that time, a genuine bright teethy smile. He rummaged through his back pocket, pulling his phone out. He unlocked it and then held it to Harry “Your number?”

“Oh” Harry nodded, unsure as he took it and typed his number in. “Just uhm drop call me later so I have yours or something”

“Definitely” Louis nodded, taking his phone back. He glanced back at what was most likely his manager, watching as he tapped his watch. He sighed, turning back to Harry “I’ve got to go, got a flight to catch to Amsterdam but I’ll be home mid week so we’ll plan something?”

“Sure” Harry shrugged, smiling only a little.

Louis stood and looked at Harry with a soft smile, almost like he couldn’t believe that he was here “It really is great to see you, Haz”

“Yeah” Harry breathed, he couldn’t deny it “it’s nice to see you”

“I’ll speak to you soon, yeah?” Louis asked, almost as a promise.

“Definitely” Harry nodded.

“Okay” Louis smiled, shaking his head as he let out a breathless laugh and then he was walking backwards “Soon”

“Soon” Harry laughed, grabbing onto the handle of dressing room door. “Turn around or you’re going to fall”

“Right” Louis nodded, still smiling as he turned “Bye, Styles!”

And as Harry sat in the chair of his dressing room, his eyes focused on the wall he knew it. He was fucked.

***

“So, what’s the date?”

“Twentieth of January” Harry gleamed, handing his mum a card “and there’s your invite”

“Oh my god” Anne squealed, ripping the envelope open. “I can’t believe this is finally happening. My baby boy getting married”

“Took us long enough” Harry laughed, glancing over his shoulder at Jack who was snacking on Anne’s brownies. “It was about time we set a date, it was quite out of the blue actually. We went shopping on Sunday and drove past this place and decided there and then it was the one, it’s beautiful mum”

“It’s literally in just under a month. That’s so soon, bloody hell, I’ve got to find a dress!” Anne panicked, waving the invite in the air “We need to find you a cake, musicians, rings, your suits, oh god, there’s so much to do”

“Hey, hey, chill” Harry stepped around the kitchen island, smiling as e pulled his mum into a hug “that’s what we’ve got a wedding planner for, mum. No need to worry, it’s all being taken care of. We’re going to get our suits next week”

“Oh Hun, this is all so exciting” Anne sighed onto Harry’s chest, her arms squeezing his middle tightly.

“Hey, Haz. I’ve got to run off” Jack said, a mouthful of brownie hanging from his mouth.

“Where you going?” Harry frowned, loosening his grip on his mum.

“Got a shoot in a few hours, it’s last minute but it’s sick money” Jack said, grabbing his coat from the back of the stool. “I’ll be home by four, latest”

“Oh, okay” Harry shrugged, letting go of his mum.

Jack put his coat on and rounded the kitchen to pull Harry into a hug, wrapping his arms around his small waist and pulled him in closely “I’m excited to marry you, baby. Can’t wait to be with you forever”

Harry smiled into his chest and Jack kissed his head softly, finally letting go so he could hug Anne.

“Lovely seeing you” Anne said, kissing his cheek “will you be here this Sunday for Gemma’s birthday? We’re still having a little party”

“Should be. I’ll check my planner and let you know, okay?”

“Okay hun, have fun!” She called after him as he waved a goodbye and head out of the house.

Harry watched, waiting until he heard the front door close and he sat himself on the kitchen stool and lent his arms onto it.

“I love him, Harry. He’s the sweetest. You’ve got yourself a good one there” Anne said, filling the kettle up behind him.

“Yeah, he’s something special” Harry agreed.

“He is. So what is it that’s troubling you? Are you having second thoughts? Because if you are, it’s best you tell me now before I go and buy a really expensive dress”

“What?” Harry frowned, glancing at his mum. He shook his head “God, no. I’m not having second thoughts, I’ve never been so sure about any thing in my life”

“Oh thank god” Anne sighed, turning the kettle on. She walked around and sat opposite him “So, what’s up with you?”

“What are you on about? I’m fine”

“You sure? Because you’ve been weird all morning, don’t deny it. I’m your mother, I know everything”

Harry groaned, dropping his head onto the kitchen top. “It’s not that anything’s wrong” he mumbled, sighing as he lifted his head to look at his mum “You know how I did Graham Norton Saturday?”

“Yeah, it’s being aired this weekend isn’t it?”

“Yeah. But like, there was some surprise guests I had no idea were going to be there” Harry tried to explain, pushing his hair back “Liam was there”

“Liam? Our Liam? Oh love, that’s great. How is he? How’s the kids? Wow, I haven’t seen him in so long, I bet that was lovely for you” His mother gushed, an instant bright smile across her lips.

“Yeah it was nice but like there’s more... Liam was a surprise but the biggest surprise was, Louis”

“Oh” His mum stilled, her eyes softening. “That must have been a surprise. And it’s playing on your mind?”

“I mean, yeah, I hadn’t seen him since I walked out on him. He was the exact same, mum. Hasn’t changed at all, all banter, making everyone laugh and being as lovely as ever” Harry rambled “and like, I tried to ignore him but then he followed me to my dressing room, talking about how he missed me and missed when were friends and then preached about how we aren’t getting any younger and... Oh, mum I have no idea”

“Wow” Anne agreed. “So, how did you react to all of that?”

“I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to, I kind of just agreed with him. And then somehow agreed that we would all meet this week and have a catch up. It just kinda happened”

Anne nodded “I see” she searched her sons eyes for some sort of idea of how he really was feeling but all she could see was the frantic look in them “It will be nice for you all to catch up, after all, you were all kids when this all started and if it wasn’t thanks for each other you wouldn’t have got where you are today”

“But... What about Louis, mum?”

“What about him? He’s right, you were friends before hand. Anyway, you’re engaged and have moved on, right? So what’s the issue?”

“Yeah” Harry shrugged. “There’s no reason for me to worry”

“Exactly babe, you can be friends with Louis without making it a romantic thing. Unless you still have feelings for him?”

“What?” Harry frowned, letting a nervous laugh fall from his lips “of course I don’t, I left all of that in my past. There’s a reason Louis and I aren’t still together now”

“I know babe, I just wanted to make sure. Stop worrying then, plan to meet up with them. It would be good for you to get your friends back, anyway, you have a wedding coming up. Extra pair of hands would be good”

“Yeah” Harry nodded “you’re right”

——

Harry was laying on his sofa, it was mid day and he was engrossed in an episode of America’s next top model even if he had watched it a thousand times before. He had done nothing all morning, refusing to get dressed or leave his bed. It was rare he’d have more than a day off, so he wanted to be lazy.

That was until his phone was going off from the coffee table, he groaned, turning into Jack’s chest from where lay behind him.

“You’re so lazy” Jack laughed, reaching over Harry’s body to get his phone for him, he glanced at it and his laughter stopped “Harry... Why is Louis Tomlinson calling you?”

“What?” Harry shot up, his eyes wide as he glanced between his phone and jack.

He stalled for a second, taking a deep breath before he took his phone and sat up. He answered it, slowly bringing it to his ear “Hey?”

“Hey, Curly” Harry winced at the old nickname, sending shivers down his spine “It’s Louis!”

“Hey man. You alright?” Harry asked, his voice fragile. He was more than aware that Jack was sat listening in depth.

“Yeah I’m great! I flew in last night and I’m home for a couple of days, thought I’d ask if you wanted to meet up and have a catch up? The lads were on about having drinks in London tonight but I thought we could meet up and have a coffee or something before?”

“Today?” Harry asked, biting down on his lip. He knew that he only had today and tomorrow off his schedule and knew that Jack had purposely taking the time off to spend it with him. But he also knew that this opportunity wouldn’t most likely come around again any time soon “I’m not sure, can you hold two seconds?”

“Sure, mate”

Harry muted the call and turned to Jack, Jack had obviously heard the entire thing and let out a deep sigh and lay his head back against the sofa “I’m not going to say no, H. I’m not your dad, I can’t control who you do and don’t see but just be careful. If he so much as touches you I’ll snap his legs in two”

“He won’t. I promise” Harry smiled, un-muting the call “Hey, still there?”

“Yeah” Louis chirped up “wasn’t going anywhere”

“What time were you thinking?”

“At two? Y’know that coffee place in between us both? Where we used to meet after auditions?”

“Yeah” Harry gulped, he knew it oh too well. The time when he was so hung up on Louis like a love sick puppy.

“Sick, see you in a couple hours love” Harry winced again, this was all to familiar to him.

“See you soon” He ended the call, putting his phone back onto the coffee table. He turned to Jack with a sad smile “I’m sorry babe. I saw him at Graham Norton and kind of said we could have a catch up”

“It’s okay, babe. Nothing wrong with you visiting old friends, as long as he doesn’t upset you then it’s fine with me. You’re big enough to choose who and who isn’t you friend” Jack said, tracing his fingers down Harry’s back. “I’ll just go to the gym for an hour and go and see your mum or something”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Just make sure you have some time free tomorrow, we are going cake tasting!”

“I love cake” Harry sighed happily.

“Such a loser” Jack laughed fondly.

Harry lay on the sofa for another hour before he finally upped to get ready, dressed in whatever he could find first. Which happened to be an over sized comfy sweater and a pair of jeans. He’d been driving for fifteen minutes by this point, listening to Louis’ song play on the radio completely by coincidence.

He couldn’t help but second guess this, he didn’t know if inviting him back into his life was such a good idea. Not after everything.

“ _What do you mean you’re leaving? You’ve only just got home, Lou”_

_Louis rolled his eyes, snaking past him and walking over to their shared drawers taking a few pair of boxers out of the draw “me and the lads are going Vegas for the week”_

_Harry stood gawking, in utter disbelief “you’re fucking what? Did you not think to tell me? Louis I cleared my schedule for the week so I could spend it with you”_

_“We’ll do something when I’m back. It’s no big deal, H. It’s 5 days, I’ll be back Saturday morning”_

_Harry huffed “back Saturday morning with a five day hangover, spend it all in bed and then by the time you’re fine again I’ll have to fly to LA again for promo”_

_“Harry, stop it. I get a few weeks off a year and for the first time all the lads are free. We don’t get the chance often, we spend all the time together, a few days isn’t going to hurt us”_

_“Since when did we ever have any time to spend together? Louis, you’re gone 3 and a half weeks out of every month we get a few days of that” Harry argued, crossing his arms over his chest “I’m just annoyed you didn’t tell me so I could have told my manager, that way I could have carried on working”_

_“Spend the week off relaxing, it won’t hurt you to chill and do nothing for a while. See your family, see your friends, spend some time with Grimmy. Do something, H”_

_“That’s not the point and you know it” Harry snapped “this is about us never having time for each other”_

_Louis stalled from his packing, turning to harry and throwing his arms up with a defeated laugh “Harry, I hate to tell you but that’s life, okay? That’s the life we chose, we don’t have time, we’re always fucking busy. I get one week off and I want to spend it with the lads and you’re kicking off? When you know this sort of time off is a treat”_

_“Fuck it” Harry scoffed “Enjoy your week, Louis”_

_Louis watched as Harry left the bedroom in a huff “where are you going? For fuck sake Harry”_

_“I’m going to book a flight. Gonna see if I can spend the week at Kendall’s seeing as you’re too busy for me” Harry spat from the hallway knowing it would hurt Louis, it wasn’t fair he knew that but he was annoyed and angry._

_“Don’t you fucking dare” Louis shouted now standing at the opposite side of the hallway “I swear to god, don’t run to her every time you’re having a drama fit”_

_“Why? She’s my friend! Just like you, I’m going to spend the week with my friend seeing as you’re too busy to spend a little time with your fucking fiancé” Harry gritted out, his phone in his hand as looked for her number._

_“Harry, just... you don’t need to go to her, you can go to anyone just please don’t go to her” Louis pleaded._

_“Why the fuck not?”_

_“You know what’ll happen, you’ll be seen with her and the papers will be talking shit about how you’re all in love again and I’ll have to sit there and read it, management will love it and next thing you know, you’ll be with her all the fucking time”_

_Harry stilled “Louis, you know it’s not true though. For god sake, you don’t want me to see my friends, you’d rather me sit in here and wait for you to come home, it’s not how this works. You can’t expect me to watch you leave for a week and have a great time with your friends whilst I just wait, that’s not fair”_

_“I’m not... fuck, Harry, just do what you want, okay? I’m not doing this now, not today. I’m going to pack and I’m going to go to Las Vegas and then when I’m home I’m hoping you’ll still be here” Louis spoke sternly._

_“Whatever Louis. I’ll see you when you’ve got time for me”_

The last five years of their relationship seemed to be for nothing, as if they were just making a point to themselves and everyone around them. They weren’t happy, they were tired and all fought out. Harry thought he did them a favour when he walked out all that time a go.

He pulled up outside the cafe, parking right outside. He looked out the windows hoping no paps had decided to follow him today. Once he was clear, he grabbed his phone and wallet from the empty passenger seat and got out of his car into the cold crisp English winter air.

“Now or never” He whispered to himself.

He walked on the path, pushing the door open hearing the ring of the bell above it. He gazed at the shop, no different from what he remembered practically the same other than a few new pictures hanging on the wall. He was half surprised it was even still open.

“Harry, over here” His head snapped to the side, glancing at Louis.

He looked so young sat at their (old) regular table, his navy cotton jumpers sleeves pulled over the top of his hands as they wrapped around the large coffee cup. Harry smiled, waving as he walked his way through the tables.

“Hey” Harry said, falling into the empty chair. He glanced at the cup in front of him, his heart melted a little at the fact Louis had remembered his order. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, even got the sprinkles”

“Well, I hoped you still had the same. I wasn’t sure” Louis shrugged, a small smile on his lips “thanks for coming, mate”

“Don’t need to thank me” Harry said, his lips hidden behind the large cup. “Said I’d come didn’t i?”

Louis nodded “Look, I don’t want this to be awkward. So I’m going to keep this short and simple, alright?”

Harry frowned “okay?”

Louis placed his cup down, leaning his elbows on the table “I want my best friend back, I’m old and I’m not stupid, I know that no one has even come close to you since... well, let’s not get into that. I want to forget everything that happened, I want us to move forward from this. You were my best friend first and I know we haven’t seen each other in such a long time and I hate to say it, I kind of need my best friend back”

Harry was stilled, like he always was when around Louis. He placed his hot chocolate back down as he took it all in. He thought about when they had first met, how they decided there and then that they were definitely going to be best friends. They relied on each other for everything, upset? Shoulder to cry on. Something amazing? A hug and celebrations. Bad day? Cuddles and movie day. They were unlike any other friends they knew which probably explained how they ended up in a relationship.

But, even after all of that. Harry could see the plea in louis’ eyes and as much as it was all so strange and so sudden, he couldn’t help but fall into them.

“God, I sound fuckin’ ridiculous” Louis said through a breathy laugh “asking you to be my friend like I’m twelve, what am I doing? I’m forty for fuck sake”

“You’re right” Harry said, glancing down at his drink as he spoke “I guess I’ve always missed what we had, as friends, of course. It was strange not having someone to back me up or speak for me, it’s been weird. It’s been fifteen years though, it’s a bit different now”

“I know” Louis agreed, sipping his coffee “I just, I saw you Harry and I couldn’t help but think about when we were so close. I miss that, we had each others back, you know?”

“Yeah, I know” Harry nodded “Look, I’m more than up for being your friend again. You’ll always mean a lot to me, Lou. And I’m always going to be there if you need someone, you know that right?”

“Thank you. The same goes for you, does this mean we can forget every little thing that happened and move on? Because I’d hate to get older and die knowing we never sorted it”

“I’m willing to forget it, no point dwelling on the last, right?”

“Thank you, H. I’ve missed you”

Harry choked up, his voice cracking “I’ve missed you too”

Three coffees, two hot chocolates and a brownie and they had been sat speaking for over an hour. Harry enjoyed listening to Louis, hearing about his success, his family, where he had been in the world. And as much as Harry hated it, everything just seemed to fall back to what it was. They were laughing and joking, teasing the people who sat around them and harry was really enjoying this. Having his Lou back.

By five, they had been for a walk around Leicester Square, joined a busker in Westminster and got on the tube to Camden, ignoring the people who noticed them and kept to themselves.

They walked side by side as they made their way to the pub where they were meeting the other lads, Harry couldn’t believe how well it had gone. He was with Louis, laughing, not a single string of anger against one another, it was like before, before everything happened.

“And then, Oli got exposed all over Twitter. Over a thousand girls came forward saying he’d approached them at my gigs asking for their numbers, it was hilarious”

Harry threw his head back as he laughed “oh my god, he’s awful!”

“He’s learnt his lesson after his nudes were leaked all over Twitter” Louis smirked, putting his hands in his pockets.

“No” Harry gasped, his steps coming to a halt “it was you, wasn’t it? You’re evil, Lou”

“He deserved it” Louis laughed, walking back to push Harry to keep walking.

“Unbelievable, you’re unbelievable”

“I know” Louis had a shit eating grin on his face, he laughed stopping by the pub door. “Ready?”

Harry nodded, he thanked Louis as he held the door open for him. He walked in, appreciating how british this pub really was. A bunch of rowdy men with their pints in their hands shouting at the football in one corner, a group of middle aged woman in the other corner drinking their wine most likely slagging their husbands off and then in the far corner, two lads were sat, pints in hands and ignored by everyone in the pub.

“Lads” Louis shouted with a grin, Liam and Niall’s heads shot up.

“They’re here” They both cheered, lifting their pints up.

They all stood, saying their hellos and hugging each other in the most manly way that they possibly could. Louis and Harry sat opposite them, Louis was first to grab Niall’s beer and help himself to half of it.

“Still a twat” Niall said, snatching his drink back. “We didn’t think you two were coming, thought you’d bailed on us”

“Wouldn’t do that to you” Harry teased, blowing him a kiss. “Anyway, you’d just tweet about us if we didn’t. Probably about how we’re let downs and get all your fan-girls to give us abuse on Twitter, like you did that time I forgot to make you the brownies you asked for”

“Hey!” Niall said, pointing at him “that was criminal of you, I was utterly heartbroken mate”

“Drama queen” Harry laughed.

He stopped as soon as he felt a hand on his thigh, he glanced at it and then up at Louis. He gulped.

“Want a drink?” Louis asked, his hand still resting on his thigh.

“Y-“ Harry choked “Yes. Sorry, I’d love one”

“Pint?”

Harry nodded, smiling as Louis’ patted his thigh. He watched as he got up and head for the bar, shouting at some of the football hooligans that their team was shit.

“Jesus” Liam said, glaring at Harry “Saturday, you two could barely look at each other and now you’re turning up together and acting as if you had never stopped talking. What on Earth happened there?”

“I don’t know” Harry shrugged, glancing behind him at Louis “We just sorted it out. No point dwelling on everything is there? We’re adults now”

“Yeah but I can hardly believe you just forgot it all and forgave him? Harry I spent a week at your flat in New York listening to you cry about him” Liam said, he always worried. That was his thing, care about others more than he did himself. “And now you’re... Friends?”

“Would you rather us argue?”

“No” Niall shouted, finishing the rest of his drink. “Look, I’m fine with it. Now you two can stay in the same room for longer than five minutes maybe we can talk about this reunion tour?”

“No, Niall” Both Harry and Liam said, shaking their heads.

“Oh, come on” Niall sulked.

“Too old now, sorry mate. Time you moved on from the boyband faze” Liam laughed, patting him on the back “Anyway, you’re on tour for the next two years”

“I’ve got a few months free now”

“Oh yeah, lets plan, release, rehearse and put on a world tour in less than a few months” Harry said, frowning at Niall although it was lighthearted. He had always been persisting on a reunion “ask us in ten years, yeah?”

“We’ll be fifty! Imagine four fifty year olds trying to put on a One Direction show, we’ll break our backs or pull our hips” Niall said, rubbing his shoulder as he spoke “Anyway, I’m already falling a part. My backs going every day”

“It’s not happening”

“What’s not?” Louis asked, placing his and Harry’s drinks down on the table.

“A reunion” Liam said through a sigh, leaning back in his seat.

“This again? Give up, Horan” He laughed, sitting down beside Harry again. “Let’s try and get along before we try and tour, yeah?”

“Anyway” Liam said, ignoring Niall’s protests from beside him “No time for a tour, is there H? When do I get an invite? I’ve been waiting at my post box every morning, I do hope you haven’t forgotten”

“I haven’t” Harry shook his head, too aware that Louis was looking at them both confused. “I’m sending them tomorrow actually, the only person who’s got one is my mum”

“When is it?” Niall asked, leaning forward, finally finishing his sulk.

Harry smiled “20th January”

“Jeez! That’s in less than a month, right? That’s a rush isn’t it?”

“Not really, it’s been eight years. I think a month is reasonable, if you’re busy I could always give your invites to someone else” Harry teased, sipping his beer.

“It wouldn’t be the same without us, how very dare you” Liam said, slamming his pint glass on the table. “Can’t believe it mate, about time if I’m honest”

“I’m sorry...” Louis began, his eyes furrowed as he looked at the three of them “What are we talking about here?”

“Shit, you didn’t know?” Liam asked, his eyes wide “Oh shit”

“Obviously not, dickhead”

“I’m getting married” Harry’s voice was small, he couldn’t look at Louis. He felt guilt in the pit of his belly; not that he needed to, there was no reason for him to feel guilty but still the thought of facing Louis was too much, after all, before any of this it was him he was supposed to marry.

“What?” Louis asked, a nervous laugh falling from his lips. Harry knew him too well to know that he was confused “You’re getting married? Shit, I didn’t even know you were with someone”

“He’s been with him eight years, Lou. They’re always all over the front pages of well everywhere, what do they call him? The man who finally tamed Harry Styles” Liam said, smiling fondly.

“Oh” Louis said, sipping his beer and then all of a sudden his stance changed “I guess congrats is in order, hey Haz? I’m happy for you, I really am” It wasn’t genuine.

“Thank you” Harry spoke softly “of course all three of you are invited, I wouldn’t be able to get married without you all there, wouldn’t be right”

“You sure it’s a good idea if I come?” Louis asked, cocking an eyebrow at Harry “considering our past”

“What past?” Harry quickly asked “I thought we agreed to forget it”

“You’re right” Louis was defeated, he sighed into a smile “I wouldn’t miss it for anything, H”

****

Harry and Louis quickly fell into a routine, any free time Harry had between wedding planning and promo he was with Louis. He doesn’t know how it happened, he woke up the day after the pub and he was FaceTiming Louis whilst he was in the studio. And it became regular, as soon as anything happened he had would ring Jack he would ring Louis straight after to tell him. He was certain he could call him his friend now, even close to his best friend.

It had only been three weeks since their coffee date and Harry couldn’t be happier. His life seemed complete, he had his fiancé, his supportive family, his friends and most importantly, Louis. It felt like he was sixteen, his best friend back in his life forgetting all the shit they went through.

“This is shit” Louis mumbled, a mouthful of doritos hanging from his mouth “Why am I sat on the same table as fucking Grimmy?”

Harry laughed “you’re also with Niall, Liam and Zayn. What’s the issue here?” He took the table planner from him, gazing at the tables to double check.

“Grimmy. He hates me”

“No he doesn’t” Harry shook his head, grabbing a dorito from the bag “Anyway, you haven’t got a choice”

“Arse hole”

Harry and Louis had been sat in Harry’s living room for over an hour whilst Harry changed his seating plan for his reception about twelve times in total. And they still had to look at colour schemes because the wedding planner needed answers that evening.

“What do you think about blue? Like blue and silver? But not proper blue like a turquoise”

“That’s fuckin’ green Harry” Louis dead panned, he grabbed the colour chart from Harry’s hands and looked between them. He pulled a green, blue and the turquoise “Look, it’s green”

“Definitely blue” Harry mumbled, glancing at the seating plan again “you’re no help, you’re colour blind” just as he finished what he’d saying he felt a smack at the back of his head and then Louis was laughing. “Did you just hit me?”

“Yes. You’re being a bridezilla”

“Absolutely am not. I am simply saying you’re colour blind” Harry defended, rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re definitely a fussy bride” Louis laughed, pushing the colour chart away “you don’t need to bother with all this, H. Whatever it looks like that’s it, what does it matter?”

“Well, if the colours don’t match...”

“Harry, it’s not about the colours, the bloody seating plan or what colour flowers you have. It’s about why it’s happening, marriage isn’t about all this shit, it’s about being with the person you love most in this world and promising them the world. It’s about standing in front of all your loved ones and saying, yeah okay this the one, the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with”

“Oh” Harry said, Louis was staring right at Harry as he spoke and all Harry pictured was when this was them, planning their wedding. It’s all he’d been doing, comparing every little thing to last time and he didn’t mean it, but with Louis around it made it hard not to. “Is that how you felt when we were planning ours?”

“I thought we weren’t going to speak about the past?” Louis asked, eyes fading from Harry’s view.

“I’m sorry... I just-“ Harry rambled and apology but stopped as Louis looked at him again.

“Yeah, that’s exactly how I felt. You just sort of didn’t listen, y’know? All I wanted was a quiet wedding, just the two of us, I didn’t even want our family there but you wanted the big white wedding” Louis shrugged.

“You never told me” Harry said, his eyes frantic “you should have told me all of this”

“Why? Harry it made you happy, I wouldn’t take that away from you. If you wanted the big white wedding then the big white wedding you would have”

“I’m sorry”

Louis shrugged, a sad smile on his face as he pulled the colour chart back over towards them “Okay, turquoise and silver would look great. Shall we stick with them?”

“Yeah” Harry nodded although he wasn’t paying attention, he found himself doubting himself entirely. How had he missed something like that? He didn’t listen to him.

They stayed there for half an hour longer now accompanied by a cup of tea and soon the front door to Harry’s door slammed shut and Harry sat up straight in his seat.

He hadn’t exactly introduced the two of them yet, he didn’t know how to go around it. ‘Oh hey babe. This is Louis, the love of my life at one point. We nearly got married too. Oh and this is my fiancé, we’re now getting married’ Yeah, maybe not.

“Babe, who’s cars that outside the... Oh, hey” Jack stood in the doorway of their living room, his keys still in hand. He glanced at Harry and Louis and then back at Harry, a questioning glance. “I didn’t know we had company”

“Hi babe. This is Louis” Harry weakly introduced.

“Ah, the famous Mr Tomlinson” Jack said, walking towards Louis with a polite smile. He held his hand out to him, Louis almost glared at it before he finally took it “It’s great to meet you, man”

“You too, pal” Louis spoke weakly “I’ve heard a lot about you”

“Likewise” Jack said, letting go and falling into the empty space beside Harry. He reached his hand out, pulling Harry’s face to his and planted the most disgusting sloppy kiss on his lips “missed you” he mumbled against Harry’s lips.

“PDA, Jack” Harry blushed, pulling out of his grip.

“Was he like this with you?” Jack asked Louis with a fierce laugh “hates public affection, can’t understand it mate”

“Can’t remember” Louis smiled.

“I should thank you, really” Jack said, leaning back against the couch and kicking his legs into the coffee table. His foot ripped the colour chart slightly and Harry did everything he could to refrain from smacking his foot down and hailing abuse at him.

“Yeah? What for exactly?” Louis asked, frowning at him. Harry was equally confused.

“If you hadn’t have broke his heart all those years ago, he wouldn’t have met me and this wouldn’t be a thing. I’m a lucky man”

Neither Harry or Louis spoke at that point, instead embraced an awkward few minutes silence.

“Look, I should probably go” Louis said, finishing his cup of tea “it was lovely to meet you Jack, a real pleasure”

“Oh yeah” Harry quickly said once he saw Louis begin to leave, he didn’t want him to, not yet. “Me and Louis promised the lads we’d meet them for a few drinks, Is that okay?”

“What time will you be back?” Jack asked, looking at his watch. “I’m only home until tomorrow morning”

“Two hours max” Harry said, smiling at him and turning to see louis’ utterly confused expression. “I promise”

“Alright, whatever” Jack shrugged “I’m going for a bath anyway, it’s been a long day. Just text me when you’re on your way home, yeah?”

“Yeah” Harry was already on his feet and heading for his coat hanging on the back of the door. He turned to Louis “come on, mate”

“Nice to meet you, Louis. Honestly, you’ve made him much happier now he’s got his best mate back. No hard feelings, yeah?” Jack said, leaning forward with a smile as he looked up at Louis.

“None at all, pleasures all mine”

Harry had never walked quicker, he wanted out of the house and out of that awkward situation as soon as possible. He heard Louis’ small feet rush to catch up behind him. He unlocked his car, falling into the drivers seat.

“Jesus” Louis said, breathless as he opened the passenger door. He looked at harry for answers but soon he gave up and just sat beside him, slamming the door. “What was that all about?”

“You felt awkward” Harry shrugged, pulling his seatbelt on.

“What? No I didn’t...”

“Yes, you did. I know you Lou, don’t pretend, especially not in front of me. I know you better than anyone else, you forget that”

“Fine, I thought he was a dick. I mean, who says something like that to someone?” Louis ranted “I mean, he could have pretended to like me or something”

“He protective, he’s also not great with words” Harry attempted to defend him “I mean, yeah, that was shitty of him”

“Where are we going?” Louis asked as Harry pulled out of his drive.

“Surprise”

“I fucking hate surprises”

Him and Louis drove for an hour, listening to their own albums after Harry decided it would lighten the mood. Louis couldn’t help but laugh as harry belted the words to his own songs and then Louis’ as well. The music blaring as they drove down country lanes and it was about an hour and ten minutes in when Louis realised.

“You said you’d be back in two hours, H. If we’re going where I think we’re going we won’t back for four” Louis said, glancing at Harry beside him. Lit up only by the on coming cars headlights, Louis couldn’t bring himself to stop, he was watching him in the near darkness.

Harry pulled up onto the cobbled back road and Louis finally tore his eyes away as he watched in the distance.

“We’re here” Harry said quietly, turning the music down. He pulled up by a gate, turning the engine off. “Do you know where we are?”

“Yeah” Louis whispered, Harry thought maybe he was tired that’s why he was quiet. But in reality, Louis was taking this all in.

“Come on” Harry said, already half way out of the car.

_“Harry, it’s two in the fuckin’ morning and you’ve brought me to some abandoned field most likely to kill me, why?”_

_“Don’t be so dramatic” Harry said, lacing his fingers through Louis’._

_They walked in silence as Louis let Harry lead him through the distance and it seemed like they walked for hours until Harry finally stopped “there it is” he nodded over to a rock, well, it was some sort of rock. One which includes climbing, not one of louis’ favourite hobbies._

_But who was he to argue when Harry Styles wanted him all to himself in a dark field at two in the morning? He let Harry drag him over to it, he watched Harry carefully climb, one foot after the other until he was at the top. He looked like he was on top of the world to Louis, maybe because Harry was his world._

_“Come on babe” Harry said as he lay down on the top of it and held his hand out for Louis._

_Louis wanted to protest he really did but how could he say no to the pretty boy with the gleaming green eyes. He sighed, rolling his sleeves up and grabbed harry’s hand. He used his free hand to grab onto the top of the rock and let Harry pull him as he climbed. Harry began to stand as Louis’ reached the top, pulling him until his feet were firm on the ground._

_“There better be a good reason for this” Louis warned, brushing his joggers down._

_“Lay with me” Harry said, sitting in the centre tapping the empty space beside him._

_“You’re insane”_

_“Sit, Louis” Harry stated, giving him a look that had Louis hook, line and sinker._

_Louis did as we told, sitting beside him and then in motion with Harry lay on his back. He gazed up at the sky, he had never seen it so clear, it was beautiful. The moon was bright and beaming over the two of them, the stars felt like they were there for them and them only._

_“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Harry asked, his lips curled into a smile as he gazed at the moonlit sky._

_“Yeah” Louis breathed, reaching his hand out to take Harry’s. “Where’d you find this place? Is this a place you take all the pretty boys you meet to brutally murder?”_

“ _Shut up” Harry huskily laughed “When I was 15, I stayed out late. I went to some party, told my mum I was staying out so I couldn’t go home because she’d have grounded me for life. And I was walking back from this house and thought I’d go to Ellie’s house, her mum loved me. But I took a wrong turn, no surprise considering how drunk I was. And I ended up here, I climbed up here, watched the stars and fell asleep”_

_“15and staying out? Oh Harry Styles, you’re a bad boy”_

_Harry laughed, squeezing his hand “Anyway, I kind of fell in love with it. I came here the night after my audition, lay here and watched the stars little knowing my life was going to change so much. And you know what else I thought about?”_

_“What?” Louis whispered, eyes focused on the stars._

_“The pretty boy I met in the bathroom, the one with the blue eyes and kind smile” Harry said through a bright smile “I’ve been coming here every time I come home, it’s nice to lay here and just watch the world go by and know that everything is going to be okay, you know?”_

_“That’s some cliche movie shit, H”_

_“Yeah, I guess” Harry shrugged “but, it’s my thing. You know?”_

_Louis tilted his head to the side to look at Harry through the moon light “How come you’re showing me then?”_

_“Because you’re my thing. This is my thing, watching the world go by. But I thought it would be even better with my world beside me”_

_Louis smiled but it soon turned, his face screwed up and he used his free hand to cover his face “you’re quite easily the cringiest lad I’ve ever met, you know that?”_

_“Yeah, I’m a sucker for a good love story” Harry laughed, he turned to look at Louis. “And I’m pretty happy with our one”_

_“God, you just get worse” Louis gagged “absolutely embarrassing”_

_“I love you”_

_Louis rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the shit eating grin “I love you too, you absolute sap”_

They sat beside each other, looking up at the sky in silence. Neither knew what to say, Louis knew that there was a reason Harry came here tonight. It means he was worried or scared, it means he didn’t know how to handle it. And even after everything, he let Louis share this moment with him.

“Jack doesn’t know about this place, just so you know. It’s still our little hideaway” Harry eventually said, breaking the silence.

“It can still be ours, you’re allowed to bring him here too. I think we lost the privilege to call this our spot, some time ago”

“No I’m not” Harry said, turning to look at Louis “it’s ours. No one else’s, that would be wrong”

“What are we doing here, Haz?” Louis finally asked, looking at him. “Whenever we come here there’s a reason, what’s wrong?”

“Is it strange that I’m nervous about marrying him? I mean, I said yes. I have been with him for eight years but I’m still scared, you know?”

“Why?” Louis asked, turning his whole body now to face Harry. His hands turned into paws as he pulled the sleeves of his jumper over his hands.

“I don’t know, Lou” Harry sighed, leaning on his hands as he leant back. His eyes were focused on the sky above them, it was almost as if it helped him speak “I’m nearly forty and I’m finally getting married but something doesn’t feel... right? I love him Lou, I really do. But I’ve got this itching feeling in the back of my head that’s telling me something is missing”

“It’s nerves, Harry” Louis breathed, his head was all over the place. He never expected to be sat with him in their hideaway listening to Harry express his love for someone else “you’re going to be okay. Like you said, you love him. That should be all what matters”

“I know that. It’s just strange. That’s all” Harry shrugged, turning to him again “I’ve really missed you, you know”

Louis nodded “I’ve missed you too”

“I thought I had to completely cut you from my life, I honestly thought if I ever saw you again I wouldn’t know how to cope. I pictured it a thousand times, I would tell you how great my life is now and do all I could to upset you. But I realised how mean that was, I mean, I couldn’t have done it. Never”

“I would have expected you to. When I ran after you after the interview, I thought you’d tell me to fuck off. I didn’t know what to expect, I definitely didn’t expect this”

“Did you ever meet anyone?” Harry asked cautiously, looking at his shoes now.

Louis shifted a little, Harry heard his breath falter “No, I mean, you most likely saw I went off the rails. After you left I lost it, I had never drank like it. You know once I drank for three weeks straight? Had about four hours sleep a week, woke up and downed a crate of 24 beers for breakfast and would continue the day the same. I was sleeping with anyone that said Hello to me, but none of them were you”

“Oh” Harry said, glancing at Louis through the darkness “it took me a while before I met Jack. I was so caught up on you still, sad really, considering it was me who left. But I knew it was over before I left, I was more fond of the memories we shared than I was with with the relationship”

“It was shit, all of it was shit. We didn’t have a chance in hell Harry, the world was against us. No matter what we did, no one and I mean no one wanted us to be together. Maybe we were naive to think it could have worked” Louis shrugged, playing with the lace on his trainers “Definitely naive to think management would have liked it”

“When I saw you again, I didn’t know what I was more afraid of. Seeing you again after so long or not seeing you ever again” Harry admitted.

It was quiet for a moment, only an owl in the distance and the cars on the motorway behind them making the faintest of noise. And then Louis let out a deep breath, peering at Harry.

“We didn’t get our chance, Harry. And you will always be the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m forever sorry that I wasn’t the best thing for you. But us was just false hope, babe” Louis broke, his words rambling out of him. All the words he had left unspoken “you’re still and always will be my person, even if I’m not yours”

“Louis...” Harry whispered, wiping the loose tear that fell from his eye.

“No, listen to me” Louis said, his words cracking at his throat “I want you to be happy Harry, because you deserve it. I want you to be happy because it makes me happy to see you the way you’re supposed to be. And I will continue to feel the way I do for you forever but if I can see just a small glimpse of you happy and in love then that’s enough for me, okay?”

“The way you feel for me?”

Louis nodded “Always, Harry”

“After all this time? Even though I walked out on you?”

“I deserved it” Louis said, his voice small. Harry looked at him and he didn’t see the strong forty year old man he called his best friend, he saw the eighteen year old version, the one that was unsure and nervous for the future. And his heart melted for him. “I’m just glad you’re letting me be apart of your life”

“You were a part of it even when you were gone” Harry admitted. “I’m sorry everything happened like it did, we didn’t deserve it”

“Nah, we didn’t. But that’s life, H. Nothing we can do about it now, hey? It works in crazy ways”

Harry nodded, glancing up at the moonlit sky one last time. He took a deep breath before for the question fell from his lips “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything” Louis nodded “although I think I know what it is”

“Why did you do it? It hurts that you never told me why”

“Oh Harry” Louis’ head fell into his hands. And when he lifted it again his eyes were red, the moon showed the glossy layer appearing over his beautiful blue eyes.

“I just... I need to know, you know?”

“Honestly? H, I was ruined. It was the week after our final meeting with management, I was angry, upset and so mad at you. I was so upset that you didn’t fight. We had our moment Harry, to finally throw everything in the bastards face and you... you just sat there”

“I know” Harry sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“We agreed that we were going to go into it together, we were going to threaten them and we weren’t going to stop until we were free. But when it came to it you just sat there quietly and watched me get the brunt of it all, I was so upset Harry”

“I was scared”

Louis sighed “I know, I get it. I mean, I get it now. I expected too much, I pushed it on you. But at the time, I blamed you. For everything. For the lies, for the secrets, I didn’t know how to cope. So I left, I didn’t know what I was doing the night it happened Harry. I was certain Oli slipped something into my drink, I wasn’t myself. And when I woke up in the morning I had absolutely no idea what had happened or where I was, I was delusional. I wasn’t even talking properly”

“But you still did it”

“I know babe, I know I did. I can’t give you a reason for why I did, I can’t even remember meeting her. But I felt disgusting and dirty and when I came home, I just, I didn’t want to hurt you” Louis cracked, his hands falling to his lap “I lied, I know I did. Straight to your face, I told you it was PR. I felt horrible and when you found out, my god, Harry that broke me. I still think about it to this day”

“Of course I found out” Harry’s words should have been harsh but they were soft and comforting “she was bloody pregnant, Lou. It wasn’t even that what upset me the most, it was the fact you sat there, looked me right in the eyes and lied”

“I know babe, I’m forever sorry. I still think about it to this day and I regret what I did to you but I can’t regret that night, you know that. Freddie’s my boy. He might be an adult now and taller than me, but he’s mine and I love him”

“I know” Harry nodded, wiping his eyes with his sleeves “I get it. I was so hurt for so long, but I always knew you wouldn’t do anything but stand up and take responsibility and he’s a credit to you Lou”

“Thank you”

“Thank you for telling me” Harry smiled, all red eyed and emotional “if it’s anything, I forgive you”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we were going through so much Lou. I can’t blame you”

“You’re my person Harry, don’t forget that”

“I know”

Louis and Harry lay there for hours, talking of fond memories, admitting to lies, understanding one another and finding each other again. It wasn’t until five in the morning when Harry finally walked in his front door, finding Jack asleep on the sofa. And for some reason he ignored his usual routine, choosing not to wake him. Instead he went straight upstairs and wrapped himself in his duvet, his head resting on the pillow as he accepted everything that had happened.

And even though he knew they were friends and that his fiancé was fast asleep downstairs, he couldn’t help but let Louis’ words run around his mind like a chorus.

“You’re my person”

And that’s how he fell asleep, to the sound of Louis’ soft words roam around his head.

——

Two weeks until wedding.

“It’s great to have you back, Louis” Anne beamed, throwing herself over Louis and holding him in a tight squeeze “i’ve missed you, babe”

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart” Louis returned the tight hug, holding onto her like it had been centuries let alone years.

“You look great, might I add. The grey in your hair suits you, wait until it’s all grey. You’ll be a silver fox, have all the boys and girls swooning over you” Anne winked, pulling away to finally hug her real son.

“You forget about me there?” Harry laughed, kissing his mums cheek.

“Well excuse me for being excited to see my other son” Anne scalded. “Anyway, what do I owe this pleasure? You didn’t tell me you were popping in”

“I need my birth certificate to give to the wedding planner, something about legal stuff” Harry shrugged.

“And I also came for some of your amazing home cooked brownies” Louis grinned, leaning onto harry’s shoulder. “Harry promised you would have made some”

“You’re in luck” Anne laughed. “They’re just cooling down, give them five minutes”

“Did you hear that Harry?” Louis gasped, his hand on his heart as he fell onto him “hold me, love. I don’t think I’m ever going to be this happy again in my entire life”

“You’re an idiot” Harry said, yet still wrapping his arm around Louis’ shoulder. “So, birth certificate?”

“Yeah, of course” Anne said “Louis, dear. Remember where the photo albums are?”

“On it, my dear” Louis said, pulling away from Harry as he walked out of the kitchen. He moved around the house like he had never left. There was a point where he would be here more than Harry.

“You two are just the same as when you were kids” Anne spoke fondly, looking at her son with welled eyes “it’s so strange, Harry. I never thought I’d see that again”

“Hey, calm down mum” Harry laughed awkwardly, heading for the plate of freshly cooked brownies.

“But, is really like nothing has changed Harry” Anne said, her eyes focused on Harry’s. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Harry frowned, tilting his head at his mum as he bit into the brownie “No? Should there be?”

“Only two weeks until the wedding, Harry.... I mean, what I’m saying is if you’re second guessing or anything then you can talk to me, okay?”

“What? Who said anything about second guessing anything? What’s up with you mum?”

“Nothing” Anne shook her head, waving it off “don’t worry about it”

“There’s obviously something on your mind, just say it” Harry leant against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s just... seeing you and Louis, after so long. I guess, well, I guess I’m a sucker for first loves and I didn’t know if you were the same”

“I don’t know what you’re on-“ Harry was interrupted as Louis waltzed back into the room with the birth certificate waving in the air. “Found it then?”

“Can always count on me, Curly” Louis winked, he stalled when he saw Harry eating a brownie. He gasped, turning to Anne “Is he really eating MY brownies?”

“Oh god, brownie epidemic”

The week went quite well, Jack was away with work which left Louis at Harry’s side whilst they finalised everything from flowers to Dj’s to what forks to use. And as the week drew to an end, everything was finally perfect. Harry could actually sit down and not think about it again until the day finally came.

And there was only one way to celebrate that of course. A movie night with pizza, alcohol and his three best friends.

“This is a shit stag do” Liam huffed, stuffing his face with a slice of pineapple pizza.

Harry shook his head “for the last fucking time Liam, this is not the bloody stag do!”

“I’m just sayin’ a stag do should be a week long, not one night two days before your wedding”

Louis rolled his eyes, grabbing the pillow from behind his head and threw it at Liam “shut up”

“You two are just as annoying now as you were when we were younger” Liam said, wiping his pizza after the pillow had landed on it. “You know, we’re adults now”

“Says who?” Louis scoffed “I’m 21 forever, don’t know about you”

“You’re the oldest here” Niall stated drinking his fourth beer in twenty minutes, definitely Irish.

“Alright, but at least I don’t look my age unlike Mr Payne”

“You’re so annoying”

“Oh, you’re all fuckin’ annoying” Harry said, rolling his eyes as he lent onto Louis’ lap, resting his head on his thigh as he watched the film.

And it would seem that Harry’s fiancé would always come home at the worst of moments, not talking about where he had come home to Louis teaching Harry how the waltz last week. All Harry got was a few odd looks from him but he was certain he was going to start commenting on it soon enough, after all, unlike his friends, Jack wasn’t used to this.

“Where was my invite to this cozy little teenage boy’s pizza party?”

“Right here” Niall said, holding up a slice of pizza to his face from where he was sat on the two seater by himself “Help yourself, pal”

“I’m fine thanks, Niall. I have to loose a few pounds for a catwalk show in a month, can’t be stuffing my face” Jack declined, placing his bag onto the top of the sofa.

“Fine, I’ll eat the entire thing then”

“Hey babe” Harry smiled lazily, laying on his back, his head still on Louis’ lap “I didn’t know you were going to be home tonight, I thought you said Sunday”

“Yeah, they let me go early. Got the rest of the week off now” Jack said, glancing at Harry and then the position he was currently laying in.

“A whole week? Yay” Harry said, lifting his head up, instantly missing the comfort of Louis’ gorgeous thighs. Stop it, Harry. “Means we can actually do things together!”

“Everything’s done, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I mean, just spend time together” Harry shrugged.

“My stag do starts Monday” Jack said, grabbing a bottle of water from the table.

“What do you mean starts?”

Jack shrugged “What I said, Harry. It starts on Monday”

“How long is this stag do exactly?” Harry asked, suddenly much more tense. You could tell from his voice, yet he didn’t bother to hide it, company or no company.

“Five days, didn’t I tell you?”

“Five fuckin’ days?” Harry frowned, looking at him like he was stupid “are you kidding me? The wedding is on Saturday Jack. What time do you get back on Friday?”

“I don’t, I’m back early hours Saturday morning”

Harry looked around at his friends, hoping that at least one of them was pulling the same face he was. Surely he wasn’t over reacting about this? “Saturday morning? You’re cutting it short, aren’t you? Where are you going?”

“Vegas” and Harry’s heart stopped in that very moment, it’s like it all came rushing back on him.

“Shit” Liam mumbled from the floor in front of him, both he and Louis lowered their heads whereas Niall had no idea and continued with his feast.

“What? It’s great for stag do’s”

“Yeah, I heard it’s sick!” Niall chimed in, not making anything any easier “best place, just don’t do anything stupid like get married over there when you’re drunk. I did that once, married Olly Murs in some run down chapel. This wife wasn’t too pleased”

“Niall, shut up” Liam sighed, near enough face palming himself.

“Is it an issue?” Jack asked, his eyes focused directly on Harry.

“No” Harry shook his head “it’s fine. I hope you enjoy yourself”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just make sure you’re not late to our wedding” was all Harry said, so with ease and confident. And everyone believed him, Jack carried on talking to Niall about Vegas and Liam turned back to the movie but it was Louis who knew it wasn’t all okay.

He reached his hand out, his fingers moving up and down Harry’s lower back. Harry hummed to the feel, his eyes closing and his head falling back slightly. “Are you okay?” Louis whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

Harry nodded, his body shivering from Louis’ gentle fingertips “I’m fine. Not the end of the world”

“Don’t worry, we’re going to have the best stag do ever for you. You won’t even want to think about Jack and shitty Vegas, we’ll smash his out the park” Louis whispered with a cheeky grin.

“love you” Harry whispered back, he didn’t know when they got back into that stage of their friendship but it just sort of happened one day and it’s stuck.

“You too, love”

The week went quite quick, Harry was so distracted by Louis breaking into his a house every day, joining him to his mums and during every day tasks that he didn’t have time to think about Jack or what he was up to in Vegas.

Louis had done well, he had made sure that harry was never alone or sat down for too long. If they were in Harry’s, they were watching a movie or playing some ridiculous board game, if they were bored, Louis forced him to go bowling or go to the cinema and before they knew it, it was Thursday.

It was the Stag Do.

“I am not wearing that” Harry refused, practically stomping his feet in protest.

“Oh, stop being such a pussy. You’ve worn worse” Liam rolled his eyes, holding out the tiara with the veil out to him “just put it on”

“Don’t forget the stockings!” Niall shouted from the kitchen.

“I hate you both” Harry frowned, snatching the tiara from him. He stepped back towards the mirror and carefully placed it into his hair “This is ridiculous”

“Well, it’s tradition” Liam shrugged.

“Maybe in hetro weddings, I’m not sure if you knew Liam but I’m a man and I’m marrying another man”

“Shut up and put your stockings on” Liam said, placing them onto his shoulder “I’m going to help Niall with the drinks”

“For fuck sake” Harry sighed, sitting on the edge of his sofa. He was wearing skinny jeans so he wasn’t sure how these stockings would work out very well but he still did as he was told, rolling them up to his knees.

He looked down at himself, shaking his head at the ridiculousness.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Harry gazed over his shoulder, he looked at Louis who leans against the door frame looking positively stunning. He looked the same as when he was twenty, dressed in black skin tight jeans, a tee that hung just that little bit lower so you could peek at the tattoos that lay on his chest. His hair was styled the exact same, it almost made harry’s heart flutter.

“Well, well, well” Harry said, turning in his seat to look louis up and down “it’ll be hard for the lads to keep their hands of you tonight Lou, you’ll pull someone looking like that I assure you”

“Oh shut up” Louis laughed, walking in with a beer in one hand and a white lace material in the other hand.

“Can I just say you look fucking fit, in the most platonic way possible”

“Don’t look too bad yourself” Louis’ smile was smug, he placed his beer on the table and turned to him. “Right, drop the jeans”

“I bet your pardon?” Harry frowned.

“I’ve got a little something for you, just think, it’s something for you to send a picture of to Jack. Get him begging at his knees” Louis winked, gesturing with his hands for Harry to roll his jeans down. “Come on”

Harry didn’t even think twice, he’d probably jump off a cliff for Louis. So there he stood, Louis’ eyes burning on him as he un done his jeans and shamelessly rolled them down to his knees “enough?”

All Louis did was shake his head, his eyes focused on Harry’s thighs. They were practically burning a whole into them and Harry didn’t seem to mind, if anything, he hoped he would come over and trace his gentle hands on them.

No, Harry.

“Take them off” Louis croaked out.

“I’ve just bloody put my stockings on! I’m not putting these jeans back on, someone can go find me a pair of shorts or something” Harry grumbled, struggling to pull the skin right material over his foot.

Eventually his jeans were thrown into the corner and he was concentrating on putting his stockings back onto his legs, pulling them to his knees again, the bows facing outwards.

“How stupid do I look?”

“Oh, it’s not done yet” Louis laughed, he walked closer to him “sit down”

“Yes, sir” Harry winked, leaning back onto the arm of the couch.

Louis fell to his knees and in any other situation Harry would have swooned but instead he watched as Louis’ fingers stretched the white lace fabric out, he soon realised what it was.

Louis looked up at Harry for just a second before he was rolling the garter up his calves, his fingertips smoothing Harry’s skin. Harry’s breath hitched as he passed his knee, grazing the skin as the garter tightened around his thigh.

“There” Louis said, his fingers still twisted in the garter as it sat on Harry’s thigh. His eyes flickered from the stockings to the garter and if harry didn’t know any better, he’d say Louis’ was checking him out.

“Fuck Harry, you say I’m going to pull? If you weren’t getting married and I didn’t know you I’d drag you out of any club and take you home with me and absolutely destroy you and might I add you would definitely keep the stockings and the garter on. It’s hot, Haz”

Harry gulped, the words playing in his head so much he almost pictured it “and the vale?”

“That can stay too” Louis said, his hands on each of Harry’s thighs now as he used them to lift himself up and once he was he practically in between them. “I mean it, you looking fucking insanely hot. Shame you’re a taken man”

“Oh, stop flirting” Harry teased, pushing his chest to clear some space. “Now go get me some shorts to wear”

“Of course, your highness” Louis bowed, winking at Harry as he left the room. And the moment he did Harry finally breathed, he felt like he had held his breath from the moment Louis walked into the room.

“Harry, shots!” Liam shouted from his kitchen. Harry stood up, leaving his jeans as he trailed his way into the other room. One of his last nights as a free man and all he could do was think about his ex-boyfriends fingers, great.

Ten shots later, two rounds of beer pong, half a bottle of vodka and god knows what else Liam was pouring down his throat, they were on their way. Harry’s other friends now with him as they stumbled their way down the busy streets, in search of any club or pub that would serve someone in such a state.

“Harry, in here” Liam said, throwing his arm round his shoulder as he guided him towards a club.

Harry’s eyes glanced at the sign _gay_ “convenient” he laughed. Letting him drag him through the crowds of people, it was as if as soon as he walked in people knew and recognised them. Didn’t take longer than two minutes for a few bouncers to turn up at their sides and guide them towards a table in the back, cornered off with a red velvet rope.

“Can you bring us a bottle of Grey Goose, a bottle of jäger and a fuck tonne of shot glasses, please?” Niall asked the woman from the bar as followed them to their table “also, my best friend is getting married on Saturday. Did ya know?”

“This is nice” Louis shouted over the music, squeezing himself beside Harry, his thighs practically on top of his as the others pushed to get into the booth.

“Your thigh” Harry hiccuped.

“Yes, well done, Harry. I’m proud of you and people thought you only knew how to sing! Clever boy”

Harry giggled, yes, a grown man giggled (mainly due to the intake of alcohol also because when he had any sort of alcohol in his system he turned into the eighteen year old he once was) “You’re a loser!”

“Says you” Louis scoffed, placing his hand on Harry’s thigh as the rest of the table began to cheer when the woman from the bar returned with a friend, placing the cooler with the vodka on the table and then a ridiculous amount of shot glasses beside it.

“Let’s get fucked!” Calvin shouted from beside Louis, he had somehow managed to tag along without an invite from Harry. He didn’t mind much, he always did like him.

“Lets” Louis turned to Harry with an utterly mischievous grin.

That’s how the night continued, Louis’ hand on Harry’s thigh. Harry drinking anything anyone put in front of him and a bunch of grown men singing along to Katy Perry, sounding like a group of strangled cats.

An hour later and Harry was on the table. His garter now on his head, pulling his hair from his face and Louis had somehow ended up with the vale on his head now. Harry was dancing, his arms all over the place, it was a surprise he didn’t hurt his back. He wasn’t quite the dancer he used to be that’s for sure, still, they loved it. In no time, Harry had Louis on the table with him, screaming the words to the One Direction song that came on - convenient.

“They’re only playin’ this because we’re here” Louis leant in, shouting into Harry’s hair.

“Best song ever, isn’t it?” Harry grinned, his eyes glassed over and his face blotchy and red. He was most definitely out of it at this point.

“You’re the worst, Hazza. Absolute worst” Louis shook his head.

Harry laughed, draping himself over Louis. His arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled him in close “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve missed you”

“Ditto babe” Louis laughed, putting his arms around Harry’s waist.

“You do look hot” Harry whispered, well attempted, it was hard when the music was blaring directing at them as they stood on the table.

Louis smirked, he glanced down at their friends, all too occupied on their own drinks and declaring their love for them to even notice him and Harry at that moment.

“Thank you, you’ve already told me that” Louis tilted his head, looking at Harry and my god, Louis was smitten all over again.

“I feel like...” Harry hiccuped again, closing his eyes for a second “I should tell you every half an hour, just in case you forget. Have you seen anyone you like in here?”

Louis shook his head, pulling away but letting his hand drop down Harry’s arm until they were holding hands “No, can’t say I have”

“What? C’mon! There’s so many hot guys in here, I mean, not as hot as you but they’re pretty hot” Harry demanded, pointing out random men as they walked past their booth.

“I’m not interested in any of them”

“You’re just being awkward. Look, I’ll be your wingman! I’m not good at it though, Niall says I just end up forgetting what I’m supposed to be saying” Harry shrugged “but I can give it a go!”

“I don’t want you to be my wingman, Harry” Louis said through an exhaled laugh.

“I’m not that bad, don’t listen to Niall” Harry pouted “maybe we can find you a date for my wedding!”

“Harry... Stop, love. I don’t want to meet anyone tonight, I’m not even bothered by anyone in this place tonight other than you”

“Me? How are we supposed to double date if you’re not going to go out on the prowl on nights out like this?” Harry frowned, his hips still swaying to the music.

“I...” Louis knew he shouldn’t, e knew that he should keep his mouth shut. He’d finally got Harry back in his life after so long and he couldn’t jeopardise that. Or maybe he could. “Come with me, okay?”

Harry bit his lip, looking down at his friends and then back at Louis. He was slightly drunk and his head was a little dizzy, but still, he shrugged his shoulders and said “Alright”

He watched Louis jump down from the table, standing with his arms out for Harry. Harry laughed as he practically jumped into the smaller mans arms.

“Where ya going?” Niall asked, finally lifting from his in depth conversation with James about why Ireland is the best place in the world.

“Just getting some fresh air” Harry said, waving as Louis grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

He let himself be directed by Louis, his hand pulling him and out of the crowds. They head for the smokers area, Louis nodded towards the bouncer, mumbling into his ear about something. A second later, they were being escorted through a corridor, they followed the bouncer until the end when they reached an exit door.

“Thanks mate” Harry finally heard Louis as they reached the crisp cold January air.

Louis brought him outside, heading for the single bench. Harry knew this was most likely a staff area, the backstreet of the club, it was dark and dingy only a single street lamp brightening it just enough for Harry to see.

“Sit” Louis said, falling onto the bench. He reached into his jeans, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. Harry watched as he placed one in between his lips, using his hand to shield the wind as he lit it.

“It’s cold, Lou” Harry mumbled, sitting beside him.

Louis inhaled, closing his eyes as he let the smoke pour through his body “If I tell you something, do you promise not to hate me tomorrow?”

“I could never hate you”

Louis huffed “Yes, you could. And you have done before”

“Not properly” Harry defended, crossing his arms to keep warm.

“You’re drunk, I’m wasted and I’m just hoping that you don’t wake up tomorrow and decide you don’t want me in your life anymore” Louis admitted.

“Lou...”

“Look, Harry” He sighed, flicking the barely smoked cig to the floor. He turned his whole body on the bench and grabbed Harry’s hands in his own “I don’t want you to be my wingman, I don’t want you to set me up with anyone, I don’t want to go on bloody double dates, okay?”

“Jeez. I mean, okay” Harry frowned “I was only trying to be a good fr...”

“Yeah, I know” Louis interrupted “But you have to understand, that night when you brought me back to our rock. I said to you always, do you know what I meant by that?”

“Kinda?” Harry shrugged, he didn’t, not really.

“I meant always, that I would always feel the exact same about you from when we were just kids to now. Look, like I said, I just want you to be happy and I know being together never did that. But, I can’t stop Harry. I’ll always love you”

“I love you too”

“No” Louis shook his head, frustrated “not like that, H. I didn’t run after you that day because I wanted to be friends, I ran after you because I was scared in that very second that I would never have the chance to tell you I loved you ever again. I was scared that you would leave and I wouldn’t see you, after the day you left, shit, I couldn’t cope Harry. One minute you were there and the next... gone”

“But I’m back now, Lou. We’re here, you’re with me” Harry tried to comfort him, not understanding.

“Yeah, I know and I’m so thankful. But it’s more than that and it always will be, it’s probably so selfish of me Harry but I can’t cope. Watching you with Jack, it kills me because yeah, it should have been me. That’s always how it should have been, isn’t it? Me and you, always” Louis admitted, holding on tight to Harry’s hands hoping he’d never let go. “I want to be there for you, I want to support you through every thing and I’ve been trying so hard. But I’m lying to myself if I don’t admit that it’s hurting. I look at Jack and I just think, what’s he got that I never had?”

“Louis...” Harry trailed off, it was like the alcohol was wearing off, with only a few words, Louis had sobered him. “I... I didn’t know”

“But you did, deep down Harry. Look I’m not here to tell you that I want you to run off with me and elope, it’s not like that, this isn’t some cliche love story. But I just couldn’t bare to let you marry some other person, who’s not me, without knowing that even after all this time it’s you, it’s always been you”

Harry was stunned, he was holding onto Louis’ hands so tight. Letting the words sink in piece by piece, he couldn’t comprehend how he had got to this point of his stag do. One minute he was grinding on him on a table and the next Louis’ is telling him he’s still in love with him.

And then he looked up, he looked into Louis’ eyes all hurt and pleading and he felt every word. Louis might not have thought that their life was some cheesy love story but in that very moment, Harry kind of did.

“I’m sorry. I’m ruining your night, I shouldn’t have said anything, H” Louis said, attempting to take his hands from Harry’s but his grip was too tight.

“Do you mean it?” Harry asked, his eyes piercing into Louis’.

“Of course, I’ll always mean it. I’ve never lied to you about how I felt”

And in that second, Harry made a decision. One that would most likely cause him so trouble but also in that second, he couldn’t think about anything else, it was just him and Louis. In their own little bubble, escaped from reality.

“Fuck” Harry inhaled. “One last time?”

“What do you...” Louis was cut off as Harry’s lips practically smashed into his, his hands finally letting go of his hands as they found their way to the back of Louis’ head, pulling on the loose strands. “Fuck, Harry, what are you doing?”

“Shut up” Harry mumbled against his lips “Don’t think about it. For once can we just not think about anything but this? Us?”

Louis pulled back for a second, looking at Harry, he knew this was wrong. But when all he saw was plead and need in his eyes, how could he say no?”

“Fuck it” So he kisses Harry, hard and feverish, his hands wandering over harry’s waist until he’s pulling his top just up slightly and exposing the smooth pale skin.

Harry gasps, as he feels Louis’ teeth form a grin against his neck. And then suddenly and all at once, Harry knew exactly what he wanted.

“Take me home” Harry pulls from Louis, all glassy eyes and breathless.

“Are you sure?”

“Please, Lou. Take me home”

Louis didn’t need to be asked twice.

——

It was strange, Harry enjoyed hangovers in Holmes Chapel, it was much more different to LA. All to be heard was the wildlife of little birds cheeping from the trees and the farm beside them. It was peaceful, almost like having a headache and feeling like death was all worth it to wake up somewhere as beautiful as home.

But this morning was different.

Harry woke with a headache strong enough to actually make him feel like his head could actually explode, he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet and he knew they hurt. He frowned and tossed and turned, feeling sorry for himself and slightly scared to actually wake up properly and feel the wrath of this deadly hangover.

“H?”

He froze from his dramatic wake up, his eyes still closed as he lay his head in the pillow. And then it all came flashing back to him, the drinks, the dancing, the shots, Louis, kissing Louis, touching Louis. And then as he opened his eyes, he turned his head and there Louis was.

His mind raced over the night before, the way he had dragged Louis upstairs to his pre marital bed, the one he shared with his fiancé. He remembered practically pulling the clothes from Louis’ body like they suffocated him, he thought of the way Louis’ fingers explored his body as if it was the first time and how he somehow, accidentally, slept with ex boyfriend.

“Morning” Louis whispered, laying on his side facing him. Harry’s eyes glanced down, he saw his top was missing and he peered over the tattoos that peeked through the white linen duvet.

“Hi” Harry said, his voice rough and broken.

“Sorry, I thought you were awake. I didn’t mean to actually wake you”

“It’s okay” Harry spoke softly, pulling the duvet above his shoulders.

Louis smiled, his eyes full of care “How are you feeling?”

Harry groaned, closing his eyes for a second “like death, I’m pretty sure my head is going to explode”

“Yeah, can’t say I don’t feel the same” Louis exhaled a laugh, his smile but quite reaching his eyes.

Harry nodded, he knew what had happened and in the pit of his stomach all he could feel was guilt. He looked at Louis and felt so much love for him and yet at the same time as he looked at him he felt disgust, not in Louis, in himself.

“I have to run off soon” Louis said, breaking the silence “got to meet my mum”

“Oh, okay” Harry buried himself deeper into the duvet. “That’s fine”

Louis sighed, pulling the covers down to his waist “We’re okay, aren’t we Harry?”

“Of course we are” Harry quickly said, forcing a smile.

“Okay, good” Louis nodded.

And not another word was spoken, Harry watched as Louis stayed quiet. He watched as he left the bed cold, getting up and slowly putting him clothes back on. He looked close to saying something all the time and Harry was on edge, waiting for him to just say something, anything, to make any of this less awkward.

“I’ll speak to you later?” Louis eventually said, turning around as he stood in the doorway of Harry’s bedroom.

Harry heard but he didn’t believe, he could help but think that it was more of a statement lie rather than a promise. He knew that they’d just ruined everything all over again but he didn’t want to believe it.

“Yeah, of course” Harry nodded.

“Okay” Louis nodded, he tapped the door frame and then with that, he was gone.

Harry was left with memories of the night before and an empty bed.

He stayed there all morning, laying there trying to comprehend it all. He tossed and turned, the guilt only building in the pit of his stomach at the thought of Jack coming home to this bed, laying on the side that Louis was in only a few short hours ago. And he had turned into the one thing he said he would never be, a cheater.

He was half way through Marley and Me, already ready to cry his heart away and feel sorry for himself all day. When his phone buzzed on the bedside table, he didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see whether it was Jack or Louis, either would be as bad as the other and he wasn’t ready to feel the wrath of neither.

But still, he looked. A weight lifting off his shoulders once he saw himself in the clear as his mum’s name lit up on the screen. He leaned over, grabbing his phone and answering it. He leant against his headboard as he finally spoke “Hello mother”

“How are you today, my love? Are you hungover?” She practically sang through the phone.

Harry winced “Please stop shouting I have a headache”

“Of course, should have known. How was your evening babe?”

“Yeah” Was all Harry managed to say, not sure how to approach it “it was okay”

“Just okay? I’m sure it was better than okay” Anne laughed “Niall posted a picture of you in your little stockings, hilarious Harry”

“Yeah, thanks mum”

“What’s the matter babe?” His mum asked, her voice faltered. “I’m pretty sure you should be excited, I was expecting all the dirty gossip but you’re as monotone as anything”

“Nothing” Harry’s voice was high, he was awful at lying. “I’m just a little hungover, that’s all”

“Stop lying to me, H. It’s a day until your wedding, this isn’t how you should be acting when you’re so close to marrying the love of your life. Hungover or not”

Harry sighed, sinking down so the back of his head hit the pillow “Oh mum, I wish I could tell you” he began, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to think about it at all “I just can’t... I’ve just, I’ve done something stupid”

“Okay” Anne said, slowly. “And is this to do with Jack? Or?”

“I can’t... I just can’t tell you”

“Okay” Anne said, Harry heard her exhale a deep breath through the phone “without telling me, tell me what’s going through your head”

“You know, ever since Louis came back into my life it’s like... I’m kind of confused? Not about Jack, not about him, just me. Everything seems like a blur, it’s like my world was so clear at some point and now it’s all so hard to explain”

“It’s bound to feel like that, Hun. I mean, you have your best friend back and a fiancé and it must be really hard to understand the feelings you’re going through” Anne sympathised “you’re getting married tomorrow, babe. Things will be all over the place, it’s nerves”

“Is it though?” He asked, his free hand running through his hair “What if louis coming back into my life was some sort sign?”

“Listen honey, I can’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t be feeling and I definitely can’t tell you what to think. Just remember, tomorrow’s your wedding day and if you’re feeling this way, you need to think about what it is you really want”

“Yeah, I know”

“Figure it out babe, before it’s all too late”

Harry did just that, he lay in his house all day. He felt like a confused teenage boy, coming to terms with his strange feelings. And no matter how much he thought, all that came to his head was the flash backs of the night before. And if it wasn’t Louis, it was the picture of Jack walking down the aisle ready to marry him, whereas Harry would have to look at him knowing he’d most likely broke his heart without him even knowing.

It seemed like the day flew so fast, yet Harry did nothing and the sooner tomorrow came the worse Harry felt. He flicked through his phone, looking at pictures of him and Jack. And then at him and Louis, he had found himself just looking, hoping to find an answer. Most importantly how to tell Jack. If he was going to tell him.

And as he watched a video that Jack had filmed of him running through a field in Holmes Chapel, chasing a cow as if it was the funniest thing ever. His phone buzzed in his hand, his eyes gazed at the name and his heart stopped.

If anything, at ten in the evening he expected a goodnight text from Jack or a message to tell him he was safe and okay. But instead, he looked at Louis’ name.

He opened the notification, his eyes scanning the text.

_Hey . Look , I don’t know how to word this so just bare with me ok ? I’m sorry for last night , you were drunk and I should have known you coming onto me was because of the alcohol and I took advantage of that and I’m so sorry . It was wrong of me , I guess I just sorta believed it was a two way thing . Silly after all this time haha . I don’t want to ruin anything between u and Jack , I still want you , as my friend . But if after this it can’t happen I get it , if you don’t want me at the wedding tomorrow then I understand . Just know I’m really sorry Hazza xx_

Harry’s eyes scanned over the words, taking them all in. His heart broke at the the thought of Louis having to type this, imagining how hard it must have been for him. And all he could think about was how it was really him who took advantage of Louis, he poured himself to Harry in confidence and Harry used him. Let Louis’ emotions become a punching bag for a one night stand.

His heart sank.

“What the fuck have I done?”

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a minute or two as he tried to think of a reply in his head.

_Don’t you dare apologise. It was me who was in the wrong, I’m engaged Louis, I’m fucking engaged and last night I took advantage of how you were feeling and let this happen. You haven’t done anything wrong, it’s me who should be saying sorry. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I don’t want to lose you. You’re still invited, I’d love to have you there. But I understand if not. I have a lot to think about tonight. But I’m sorry Lou, I really am xx_

Harry pressed send and threw his phone onto the end of the bed.

Not tonight.

He reached over to his lamp and turned it off, he wrapped himself up in his duvet and stared at the open window. His eyes fixed in the moon that lit the room so bright.

He was getting married in the morning and he didn’t deserve it at all.

 **Wedding day**.

“Stay still” Anne said for the third time, Harry hadn’t stopped fidgeting since he woke up this morning.

He was on edge, his whole body and mind was in meltdown and he definitely couldn’t still himself as his mum attempted to pin the flower onto his suit jacket.

As soon as he had arrived at the venue his stomach churned, he hadn’t seen Jack in five days and the next time he would was in front of all of his family and closest friends saying ‘I do’. It should have been butterflies he felt, not sick.

“There” Anne huffed, stepping back to look at her handiwork “you’ve got to stand still Harry, you’re making me dizzy”

“Sorry” Harry mumbled an apology, finally sitting down in the chair in the corner of his room. He had been held up in this room for three hours now, just waiting. He was going insane. “How long?”

“An hour” Anne said, peering up at the clock on the wall.

Harry nodded, glancing at his mum who stood by the end of his bed. She was glowing.

“You look beautiful”

Anne smiled, her eyes welling up for quite easily the tenth time today. She cried when she saw Harry this morning, which if Harry didn’t know better, would have been because of how tired and distasteful he looked.

“Thank you, baby. You look as handsome as ever”

“Thanks” He smiled, his eyes glaring at clock as he watched time go by “Are the boys here?”

“Yeah, they text me half an hour ago to let me know they were in the lounge by reception” Anne said.

Harry nodded “all of them?”

“Yes, Harry. All of them” She nodded, her eyes were full with concern as she looked at her son.

They both knew what was happening, even if Anne didn’t want to admit out loud, she could see the pain in his eyes.

“You have an hour, Harry” Anne repeated, sitting on the edge of the bed “Whatever it is you need to do, you need to do it now”

Harry pulled his eyes from the clock and looked at her, the problem was he didn’t know what it was he needed to do. In fact, he wasn’t even sure what he was doing right now. He was lost.

“Is this a mistake?” Harry asked, his voice so young and vulnerable.

Anne smiled, sadly, her eyes to match. “Oh baby, I don’t know. You’ve just got to think to yourself, is Jack really the person you see you spending the rest of your life with? And if not, what is it you really want?”

“I’m so confused” Harry said, his hands reaching to his hair. His head bowed as fingers pulled at the loose curls “I had everything figured out, my life was so normal and so safe. Why is it suddenly so confusing? I shouldn’t be feeling like this, mum. I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life”

“Oh, sweetheart” Anne said, rushing to his side. She stood beside him, leaning down to put her arms around his shoulders “just think to yourself and I mean really think, is this the happy ever after you always dreamed of?”

They stayed silent, Anne rubbed Harry’s back as she watched the time flick past on the clock. They stayed like that for five minutes, the only sound to be heard was Harry’s quiet sobs.

“I love him, mum. I know I do”

“I know, babe” Anne sighed, pulling her arms from him. “I’m going to go and check on your sister, I’ll be back in half an hour. And while I’m gone you need to make a choice”

Harry nodded, lifting his head with his red raw eyes and puffy face. He watched his mum leave, leaving him alone to make his own choices.

And he knew deep down what he needed to do.

——

“I hate weddings” Zayn said, sipping on the complimentary champagne.

Louis scoffed “that’s because you’ve had three failed engagements mate”

“Two, actually. The third wasn’t even real, the media made it up”

“Story of our lives” Niall huffed, grabbing another glass from the tray of a waiter who brushed past them “how long until this is done? The reception party is the best part, all that free alcohol Harry’s paid for will be much appreciated”

“Got another 50 minutes yet” Liam said, walking back over to the group “Has anyone been to see him yet?”

“No” they all shook their heads.

“Didn’t think I’d see the day Harry Styles actually got married” Zayn laughed, leaning against the wall “always thought it would be you, Lou”

“Let’s not” Liam shook his head “not today, mate”

“Touchy subject still?”

Louis sighed, taking another sip of his drink “More than you’ll ever know”

They watched as the crowd only grew, more and more famous faces walking in to watch Harry walk down the aisle. And Louis hated it, he could see everyone looking at him. All the poor attempts to hide the pity that filled their eyes. He as much as everyone else in this room knew that this should of been him.

He almost hated himself for being the person he was, for loving Harry so dearly that he would watch him walk down the aisle and say ‘I do’ to somebody else. He was naive to think Thursday night would have changed anything but he wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

To have Harry Styles love and want him for one night was enough to keep him going for a life time.

Or maybe, he was becoming as sappy as Harry in his old age.

“Hello, my darlings!”

All four lads turned, looking at Anne as she walked into the room.

“Look at you” Liam said, smiling as he pulled her into a hug “beautiful, if only I wasn’t a taken man”

“And everyone thought it was Harry who liked women double his age” Anne scoffed, smacking him on the arm.

Louis watched as Anne greeted them all, she watched as she comically spoke with Zayn. And even then, he felt his heart sink. It should be him waiting in a room, nervously awaiting this massive group of people to gather in the ceremony room to watch him.

“Louis, hello my love” Anne said, Louis turned to look at her and even she had a look of pity across her face. Could he not get a break?

“Hello, darling” He said, placing his glass onto an empty tray. He pulled her in, holding her tight. “How is he?”

“Honestly?” She whispered into his shoulder “Not great. But I have a feeling he’s about to figure everything out”

“What?” Louis frowned, pulling back slightly to look at her.

“Only time will tell, babe”

——

Harry stood by the door, his heart racing and his body shaking. He knew what to do yet it was so hard, his heart sank as his fist reached to knock on the door.

He heard the steps from the room behind, a few laughs and muffled talk. And then the door swung open.

“Hello honey, everything okay?” Jack’s sister asked, smiling at Harry as he stood so vulnerable in front of her.

“Hi, Yeah, I kind of need to speak to Jack” He stuttered out.

“Who is it?” Jack called from behind her.

“It’s Harry, you’re stunning groom to be. He’s requested your presence, my dear” She joked “however, I’d say it’s pretty bad luck to see each other before the wedding”

“Oh, stop it. Let him in, you lot can fuck off now”

“Charming, isn’t he? Don’t know what you see in him” She rolled her eyes, stepping aside to like him in.

Harry cautiously stepped, he stood by the corner of the wall. He glanced up at Jack and his heart stopped. He looked beautiful, like the model he was. His gorgeous body wrapped in the most elegant white suit. He looked like a dream.

“See you soon” Jack waved off his family members as they left one by one from the room.

Harry stayed quiet and still until the last one left, waiting until the door closed behind him.

“Hey babe! I’ve missed you” Jack grinned brightly, he walked over to Harry scooping his waist into his arms and pulled him into him.

Harry’s arms fell effortlessly around his shoulders, his head rested between his neck. And he felt his whole body sink, he would never feel this again. His eyes began to tear up, the array of red that had faded from his eyes now coming back.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” Jack asked, pulling back with his arms still attached to his waist. “What’s up babe?”

“I’m so sorry” Harry spilled out, his sobs no longer retained. He was stood there crying like a broken child, sniffling and snotting all over the place.

“What do you mean?”

Harry felt Jack’s arms fall from his body, the warmth instantly drifting away. And that’s when he knew it was time.

“I... Look, I’m just so sorry” Harry began, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen”

“Harry, you’re kinda scaring me now. What’s going on?”

Harry took a deep breath, trying to contain himself. He looked up at Jack and he felt every ping of guilt rush through his body all at once, as though he was drowning.

“My stag do... I just, I got really drunk and I don’t know it just kind of happened and I didn’t mean it” Harry rambled through broken cries “I don’t think I did anyway, I’m not saying it’s not my fault because it is. Oh Jack, it’s all my fault, it was me who did it”

Jack was stunned, his arms falling to his side “Did what, Harry?”

“I cheated on you” He spat out.

Jack physically dropped, his whole body hunching over. Harry watched as he failed to keep his stance, his feet backing up until he was sat on the edge of the bed. Harry wanted to run over to him, hold him and tell him it was still going to be okay. But that was a lie, it wasn’t going to be okay. It never would be.

“What... I don’t understand Harry. Why? Who? What?”

“I was really drunk, I’d been spending so much time with him and I don’t know, it was an old habit that just sort of came back to me when I was drunk and it wasn’t even him, it was me. I made the first move, I was the one who convinced him. It was all me”

“No... Louis?”

Harry nodded “I’m sorry Jack, I just can’t describe to you how sorry I am. I feel so much guilt, I feel like I’ve betrayed you more than I knew was possible. I didn’t mean to do this, I didn’t mean to hurt you. You have to believe me”

Harry pleaded, his eyes focused on Jack’s as he sat there silent. His eyes on Harry yet his mouth still, Harry wanted him to scream and shout. Wanted him to call him every name he could think of, push him, he just wanted him to do something.

“Please, Jack. Say something”

“I...” He choked on his words, inhaling a deep breath “It was a one time thing? It’s not happened before has it?”

“Oh no, god no! I wouldn’t dream of it, I just wasn’t myself. I would never cheat on you with a right mind. You know that” Harry rambled on. “It happened once, that was it”

“I believe you” Jack spoke, his voice slow and uncertain. “Thank you for telling me”

“What?” Harry frowned “is that it? Jack you’re supposed to be shouting at me right now, even hitting me. Why are you just sitting there?”

He shrugged “I should have seen it coming to be honest” he said, wiping the loose tears from his eyes “but it was a one time thing, right? It won’t happen again. We’ll be married and that will change things, he won’t be around as much and I’ll always be there so I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again”

“What?” Harry shook his head “No Jack, you’re not understanding”

“Yes I am, you’ve made a mistake. And I know that it was just that, a mistake, it’s not going to stop us”

Harry was frazzled, none of this seemed real. How could a man who loved him so much just accept something so hurtful?

“Jack, no. I don’t think you’re getting any of this. I cheated on you, with my ex boyfriend. I spent more time with him than I have you in the last month. I sneaked off in the middle of the night to sit in some abandoned field with him rather than spend a night with you, I put more effort into someone from my past than I did my own fiancé”

Harry was losing it “Jack, that’s not normal. And you for some reason, sat and let me do it. Why? Why would you be okay with all this?”

“You still love him” Jack finally said, looking at Harry with eyes that only broke his heart “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You don’t want me to accept it because you don’t want to marry me”

“What? Jack...”

“I always knew it. I sat and listened to you speak about him for years, you’d speak about how much he hurt you but you never seemed sad about it. You’d talk about him with this little twinkle in your eye, at first I thought it was just normal but I’ve been completely blind”

“He was my first love” Harry admitted, giving in as he sat on the bed opposite “I don’t know what you want me to say”

“Why did you let it get to this point? If you were still hung on him, you shouldn’t have said yes to marrying me Harry”

“I didn’t know, I didn’t know he’d come back into my life. I accepted that part of my life was over, I didn’t expect it to come walking into a studio one day” He admitted.

“It’s different with me. It’s like, you could be absolutely fine with me leaving you for a few weeks but the moment Louis was back and you hadn’t seen him in a day you were pining for him”

“I do love you, Jack. You have been so good to me, so fucking amazing”

“But I’m not Louis”

Harry couldn’t answer that, he couldn’t bring himself to really accept what was happening. And Jack just watched, awaiting an answer.

After a moment, he spoke “Do you miss him?” his voice scarcely a whisper.

With three words, he broke his heart “all the time”.

“I miss him when he’s not around, I miss him when he hasn’t spoken to me in more than a minute, I missed him when I left and I’ve missed him every day since”

“Then, I suppose we know what’s happening here” Jack smiled sadly.

“I’m so sorry”

“I can’t make you love me, Harry. But I’ll always look back on this and cherish every moment” Jack said, standing up finally.

Harry watched him as he unbuttoned his suit jacket and walked past him. He wanted to run after him, make him see how sorry he really was. But what was it worth? A few more tears and a broken heart.

Jack stalled, turning to Harry when he reached the door. “I’m sorry I never lived up Louis Tomlinson”

And with that he left and Harry was left stunned and heart broken.

A group of people waiting downstairs for a wedding that wasn’t going to happen, a man leaving after being told his fiancé loved someone else and a curly haired lad sat on the edge of the bed wondering what the fuck he was going to do now.

——

“Ladies and gentlemen, could I have your attention?”

The lads turned as Jack stood by the bar, a microphone in his hand and an exhausted look on his face. He didn’t look like a man who was about to get married today.

“Thank you” Jack said, sniffling as he exhaled a deep breath into the microphone “I’d like to thank you all for coming today. I know some of you would have traveled a long way and I appreciate that”

“What’s going on?” Liam hissed.

“However, I’d like to apologise. Unfortunately there will be no wedding today” he announced, the crowd of people bursting into an array of gasps and abuse “Myself and Harry have agreed that it is neither the right time or in some people’s case, the right person” he said, glaring at Louis “therefor, the wedding is cancelled. The bars still open, so help yourself to a drink. I’m definitely going to. Sorry everyone”

“What the fuck?” Niall asked, dropping his glass from his hand “What is going on?”

“I don’t know” Zayn shrugged “has Harry ran off?”

”Runaway bride” Niall laughed “amazing”

“Shut up” Liam said, smacking his arm. Glancing at Harry’s sister Gemma who was sat in the corner with mouth wide with shock.

He was the first to run over to her, standing in front of her to avert her eyes from shock as she stared at Jack.

“Gems, What’s happening?”

Gemma glanced at Liam and then Louis “I think we all know what’s happening, don’t we? This is like some cliche rom com, ain’t it?”

Liam shook his head, glancing at Louis and then back at Gemma “What? I don’t understand”

“You can’t be serious?” Gemma laughed, sipping her champagne as if it was tea and she was the only one who knew “I think we all know”

“You’re like a walking talking riddle”

“Have you seen him?” Louis asked, pushing past Liam.

“No, go and check his room. I’m not happy with you Tomlinson, this dress cost a months wages, it better come in use again soon”

“Right” Louis nodded “what number is he in?”

“Bridal suits, top floor 345”

Louis was gone, pulling his tie from his neck as he raced through the crowd of people gathering to leave.

He head for the lift, pressing it over and over again. His eyes glancing at the clock above it, he didn’t know how much time he had. Harry likes to run when things got bad and he didn’t want to miss him, not this time.

Eventually the lift doors open, thanking anyone who heard as he climbed into the empty box, pressing the top floor.

“C’mon, c’mon” He muttered as the doors finally closed, he shuffled out of his suit jacket, placing it on the floor for a second as he pulled the sleeves up on his shirt. He was sweating, mainly because he had just ran and also because he was nervous.

It took several minutes until finally the doors opened, he forgot his jacket as he ran out of the box. He head through the corridor, counting each room number, dodging the cleaners and their trolleys.

“339, 341, 343.... 345” he stopped outside of the door, breathless, he reached up and banged onto the door in a hurry “Harry, if you’re in there open the bloody door”

He heard footsteps from the other side, he stood back leaning against the door frame. And then as the door unlocked and swung open, his heart sank.

“He’s not here, Louis” Anne said, her eyes sad “he must have left, Ive tried calling him but he’s gone. He’s took his car as well”

“Shit!” Louis cursed, his head falling “Where could he have gone?”

“He can’t have fled the country, I have his passport”

“Fuck... okay, think, think, think” he ranted to himself, his hand patting the door frame until it hit him all at once. He lifted his head up “I know where he’s going”

“Go and get him then!” Anne said, tapping his arm “don’t loose him this time, Lou”

“I won’t”

Louis chose the stairs this time, he couldn’t deal with the unbearable wait in the lift to get to his floor. He went, flight by flight, wishing he would have stopped smoking by now as he was sure it would have made it easier.

And after 5 minutes and he had finally touched final ground, he looked up to see the lads standing in reception all awaiting him.

“Jesus, did you bloody run?” Niall asked, looking at Louis’ bright red complexion and breathlessness.

“Yes, I fucking did” He spoke through an exhale of breath “no... no time to speak, I have to...”

“So, you didn’t find him?” Liam asked, laughing at his state.

“Obviously not, Payno” He flipped him off as he walked past them “I’m going to get him now”

“How’d you know where he is?”

“I just know” Louis said, leaving them standing in reception.

“If there life doesn’t end up as some movie at some point I’m going to be really disappointed”

——

Louis was driving, his phone on his lap as he dialled Harry’s number for the twentieth time in the last half an hour.

He had about five minutes to go before he was there and he really didn’t know what he was supposed to do when he got there. Was he supposed to walk over and shout surprise? Or what? He hadn’t thought about it when he decided to drive all the way there.

He gave up calling, turning the music up in his car as he made his final five minutes of his journey. He didn’t expect this to be his day, if anything, he expected to be drunk by now to help him get over the fact Harry was marrying someone else. He definitely didn’t expect to be chasing him across the county.

He pulled up, seeing Harry’s car beside his. He knew it.

He stepped out of his car, he had never been here in the daylight but it was just as beautiful as it was at night bar the stars. He glanced over the endless field. Seeing the single large and out of place rock right at the very end with a very faint figure sat on top of it.

He cursed himself for wearing his best shoes to walk over such a muddy field. But for Harry, he’d do it.

He braced himself as he jumped over the fence, falling into the muddy grass. He made his way over it, his eyes focused on Harry to help ignore the fact he must have looked completely mental walking about in the cold English January weather with nothing but a shirt and dress trousers.

He felt his feet stick with every step but he kept his eyes focused, step after step, covered in mud until he was faced with the rock. He took a deep breath, lifting one mud filled shoe at a time.

Louis stood on the edge, looking at Harry and noting how young and vulnerable he looked. It reminded him of the multiple times when they were together when Harry had ran off when he was scared and would find him here, knowing Louis would figure it out.

He came all the way here yet it was Louis who was speechless, he didn’t plan what he was actually going to do when he got to this point. All he knew was that he wouldn’t get another chance like this again.

“I have climbed stairs, ran across manor houses, walked in by far the most disgusting amount of mud I have ever seen and have climbed a giant bloody rock. I am knackered Harry, I forgot how tiring you were to be around” Louis spoke, hoping to ease any tension between them as he continued.

“now, don’t get me wrong I’m flattered that when you’re in a shit place you come to our little spot, but I also know that this means somethings wrong. And considering Jack had just announced to everyone that the wedding is officially off, I’m hoping you can explain to me what’s going on here because believe me, I’m beyond confused”

“He told everyone?” Was all Harry said, his voice low and vulnerable.

“Obviously, he’s not gonna let everyone believe that there’s some sort of wedding when there’s not. He didn’t say much though, so do you care to tell me what’s going on in that massively confusing head of yours?” Louis probed, staying where he was.

“Im glad you found me. I didn’t want to stick around the hotel waiting for people to come in and quiz me, all I wanted was to see you”

“I’ll always find you if you need me”

Harry nodded, he was silent for a moment before he finally stood. His back still to Louis until he finally turned around. He looked a little broken, Louis felt every emotion pour from him as Harry let it show.

“There was never going to be a wedding, I didn’t know that to begin with but it was always obvious” Harry admitted “I think we all knew that really”

“What a waste of a good suit” Louis smiled. “What makes you say that?”

“I think we were being naive to think I would actually go through with it. Don’t you? My mum sure knew it, if anything it was her telling me for the past month to not go through with it” Harry sniffled, using his suit jacket sleeve to wipe his eyes “Ever since you came back, Lou. It’s been so clear to me what I really needed and what I needed wasn’t Jack”

Louis stalled, his heart racing just a little bit as heard the words finally come from Harry. “What do you mean by that, Harry?”

“Look, I know it’s been years. And I know I’m not as young as I was and neither are you but since the day I left, no matter how much I tried to hide it. It’s always been and always will be, you” Harry said, tears streaming down his blotched cheeks “I can’t deny it and neither can you, I should have known the moment we woke up together on Friday. I shouldn’t have let you leave, I should have just realised but I couldn’t have because I was blinded by what I thought was right. I’m sorry Louis, for everything I have put you through. But I can’t marry Jack because it’s you, I love you”

Louis was stunned, his feet stuck to the place he was in. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, to hear those words role from Harry’s tongue after all these years of living from the memories. And now it was happening, Louis was mute. His brain couldn’t work out or string a sentence together.

“I’m not asking you to love me back, I know you said it when you were drunk but I don’t expect you to just give up everything and come running back to me. I understand I hurt you after I left and all I want to do is spend the rest of my life making up for lost time, Lou. I feel like an idiot, this isn’t one of my Rom-Com’s, I’m just dreami-“

“Shut up” Louis said, placing a finger up at Harry.

“What?”

“I have waited for this moment, you don’t understand how long I’ve just sat around waiting for you to come home Harry. Don’t you doubt how I feel for you for even a second, because for me, it never stopped. I’ve wanted to hear you say that for so long, this past month and a half have been torture. Not being able to touch you and then that one night, it was everything to me Harry”

“It was for me, as well” Harry nodded, biting on his bottom lip as he waited for Louis to continue.

“I’m not asking for the world, I’m asking for you. And if you’re sure about this Harry and you have to promise me you are, then you have me, all of me. No more secrets, lies or fake promises, it’ll be real this time and the world will see it all”

“I’ve never been so sure about something in my entire life, Lou. I just want it to work this time” Harry pleaded, taking a few steps closer I Louis “we can’t let anyone ruin this for us”

“We haven’t got a controlling management now, Harry. The world knows who we really are now, all we have to do is go out there proudly and admit it. No more hiding, it’s our time” Louis whispered, reaching his hand out to grab Harry’s. He looked down at it and laced his fingers through his “I can’t promise that we’re not going to argue or fight or you won’t get angry at me for being lazy but I can promise to love you and be there all the time, Harry and if that’s enough for you then I’m all yours, ok-“

He was cut off as Harry’s hand snaked around the back of Louis’ neck and he pulled him in. Harry’s lips attached to Louis’ like sparks, like years and years of pining just exploded within him all at once. And after a second of standing and taking it in, Louis’ arms folded around Harry’s waist.

“I love you” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips.

“I’ve always loved you”

——

“That is the cheesiest shit I have ever heard, oh my god” Liam gagged “that’s worse than any Rom-Com I’ve ever watched, you two are sickening”

“Shut up, you’re just jealous that Cheryl will never love you as much as I love Harry” Louis flipped him off from the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen top.

“Well, can’t say I’m surprised” Liam said, taking off his suit jacket and hanging it against the back of the sofa “should have seen it coming really”

“Tell me about it” Niall slurred, a bottle of the champagne from the Manor House in his hand. “Fuckin’ in love, ain’t you? Should have known there’d be no wedding. Oh well, never thought it’d happen anyway”

“Do you mind not talking about my failed wedding, please?” Harry said, walking into the kitchen. He placed his phone onto the side and fell into one of the kitchen stools with a sigh.

“What did your mum say, babe?” Louis asked, pushing a cup of tea in his direction.

“Thanks. Well, Jack’s at my house now collecting his things and then he’s getting a flight to Australia tonight. Apparently he refuses to stay here” Harry ran his hand through his hair “anyway, everyone stayed and took advantage of the free bar and left. That’s about it, no one really kicked off except Jack’s sister and that’s the last of it. However, she did say Niall didn’t help at all”

Louis’ head snapped into Niall’s direction “what did you do?”

“Me?” Niall gasped “nothing!”

“He grabbed the microphone and started telling everyone that Harry left because he loved Louis more and then sang Strong, terrible” Liam piped up, shoving Niall. “Let’s just say Jack’s family weren’t too pleased”

“Christ, Niall. You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Louis turned back to Harry, who still looked beyond stressed “it’s going to be okay, you know that right? This will all be old news eventually and people will get over it. It’s not the end of the world”

“I know” Harry nodded, glancing up to Louis with a fond smile “got you, haven’t I?”

“Always”

Liam gagged “you’re disgusting. I preferred it when you hated each other”

“No you didn’t” Louis laughed, walking round to put his arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“I know” Liam said smiling as he watched Harry lean into Louis’ touch “Let’s just hope things stay good, yeah?”

——

“It’s time! It’s fucking time”

Niall had been walking around with a megaphone for fifteen minutes now, directing into everyone’s ears as he screamed how many minutes were left. It was safe to say that everyone around him now had a headache.

“Niall!” Louis shouted, rubbing his ear “put that fuckin’ down right now or I will shove it up your arse”

“Spoilsport” Niall whispered into the megaphone before dropping it. He turned around, a spring in his step as he skipped around them all. “Can you believe it? It’s happening, it’s really happening”

“At this point, I wish it wasn’t” Louis complained, rubbing his temple. Harry was stood behind him and snaked his arms around his shoulders, resting his head on him.

“Be nice” Harry whispered behind Louis’ ear, Louis’ skin shivered at the feel “he’s been waiting for this”

“I’m only doing this because of you! Blackmailed us all” Liam said, pointing at the two of them “Oh, Liam. You have to do it, Niall’s getting old now. You don’t know how many years we all have left. You’re both sneaky bastards!”

“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?”

Liam rolled his eyes, fixing his hair in the mirror. He could try and hide it all he wanted but everyone knew how excited he was. They all were, after years of ignoring the same call from Niall, they finally decided.

A reunion tour.

“2 minutes lads, get into places”

“Let’s do this!” Louis sighed, standing up and grabbing Harry’s hand. “Now or never, right?”

Harry nodded, following everyone towards the main stage. They walked together, his hand locked with Louis’ whilst Liam and Niall bickered next to them. And Harry couldn’t help but feel lucky, if he would have made a different choice those eight months ago then he might not have been here, with his lads about to perform to the biggest crowd they had ever seen.

“Good luck” Louis kissed Harry’s cheek, letting go of his hand as he ran off towards the other side of the stage.

“Love you” Harry shouted after him, laughing as Louis continued to run as he turned to face him. “Don’t break your legs before you even get out there, turn around”

“Love you too”

And as the minutes turned into seconds, Harry was excited, not just for the show but for the rest of his life.

He was lucky, the luckiest man ever


End file.
